Every time I tell someone my son is autistic, I get a variety of different reactions. Some look with sympathy as if I've just told them he has a terminal disease. Others look at us with understanding because they are either in the same position as we are, or they are education on the diagnosis. Most immediately change their entire demeanor. When I get these different reactions, sometimes I'm not sure how to explain to them that he is still the same child they were interacting with two seconds ago. I'm never sure how to do this because I know that as soon as the word "Autism" exists my mouth, the entire conversation is going to completely change. So, to every person I haven't been able to explain this to, here are the 10 things I wish you knew.

1. Just because he doesn't speak, it doesn't mean he can't hear you

Jordan McInnis

There are actually two types of language: expressive and receptive. We've had his hearing tested, multiple times, and his receptive language skills are perfectly in order. So, even though he can't verbalize what he's thinking, he is still able to hear you when your speaking to him. You can talk to him just like you would any other toddler, he might not answer you in the same way, but he will still interact with you.

2. He has an amazing sense of humor

Jordan McInnis

His laugh has the ability to light up every room, to change someone's mood, and to bring people together. I can't tell you how many times I have seen him smile at a stranger from across the room, someone who was clearly having a bad day, and make them smile the happiest of smiles. I can't help but wonder if his autism is part of the reason he is able to connect with people the way that he does. For him, there is no judgements towards towards those around him, only the want to make those around him smile and feel joy.

3. He's not the kid from "Atypical" or "The Good Doctor"

Jordan McInnis

Though it's great that these shows are helping to end the stigmas attached to this diagnosis, autism is a spectrum NOT a one size fits all diagnosis. Though there are many, many people on the spectrum that have these amazing abilities, not all of our kids grow up to be doctors, math prodigies, or the next musical genius. A lot of us spend our days celebrating every teeny-tiny victory we can.

4. He has the ability to love purely and unconditionally

Jordan McInnis

This kind of goes along with number two, but I can't help but be amazed. He has this pure and unconditional love because he doesn't see color or gender, age or sexual orientation, he sees the person behind all of that. I wish I could be like him in this way, I wish we all could, because if we were a lot the problems facing the world today would dissolve.

5. Please avoid the following phrases....ALWAYS

@autismspeaks_sp/Instagram

This should probably be its own post, but here are a few of my most loathed. "Well he doesn't look autistic, you'd never even know!" This is probably the most common one, and it baffles me every time. Autism is a neurological disorder, not a physical deformity. "Well my cousin's wife's nephew's 5th cousin has that so I totally understand." NOOOOOOO, just no! Please never say this, you just sound completely ridiculous. "Oh...I'm so sorry that you're going through this." Why, why are you sorry? Autism is part of who my son is, for better or worse. So, when you say things like this, all I hear is that you wish he wasn't himself.

6. It's not enough to spread awareness, we need to spread education

National Autism Association

Don't get me wrong, your Facebook profile filter is great. Your marathons are awesome and so are your fundraisers, BUT awareness isn't enough. We need to be spreading education and acceptance. For a lot of people, the extent of their education about people on the spectrum is limited to movies like "Rain Man" and TV shows like "The Good Doctor." Yes, some documentaries do okay at showcasing the non-stereotypical aspects of autism, but this shouldn't be the extent of your research. Everyone should learn more and try to understand autism more. Websites like The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, Rethinking Autism, Thinking Person's Guide to Autism, and Autism Speaks are always good starting points.

7. For the love of all things holy, keep your opinions about vaccines and autism to yourself

Atypical

Once again, this could be its own article, but keep your stupid memes to yourself. The crazy thing is that a lot of people sharing these haven't researched the topic for themselves at all. So unless you're a doctor or someone who is actually qualified to give their opinion on the subject, either for OR against, please politely delete that post you were about to share on Facebook...Google University is not a thing.

8. We just want to feel included and accepted like every other family

Jordan McInnis

No, we will not always be able to come to every birthday party, family reunion, or play-date...but please, don't stop inviting us. A lot of times we don't know how our kids will be from one day to the next, but I promise we make every effort to make it to these special events. All we ask is that you make us feel accepted when we are able to make it, because no one wants to feel like their kid(s) are being judged, forgotten, or ignored.

9. If you see us in public and he's having a sensory meltdown, please don't stare

To understand please watch.

I don't know why people think it's okay to look at any mom who's dealing with a screaming toddler and thinks it's okay to judge her. I don't know why people think it's okay to make comments like, "Can't you control him," or "If that was my kid I'd [insert form of punishment here]." Here's my personal fave, "if she can't get him to act right she should just leave that kid at home!" To everyone who has ever said this to a mom, rather their child is neurotypical or on the spectrum, you should be ashamed of yourself. I understand that you don't want to listen to a child crying while you are trying to buy groceries, but it's not like we can help it.

Think about it this way, places like this are filled with a lot of people in a reasonably small place. It's also is filled with bright lights and lots of different colors and smells. Basically, it's one giant sensory overload. So yes, it's probably going to cause problems for those people on the spectrum, but what are we supposed to do starve to death? Because we are going to need food at some point. In the future, if you see me trying to pay my bills, get groceries, or just trying to be a contributing member of society...either make yourself useful and help me or walk away. Please and thank you.

10. Most importantly, he's still a kid

Jordan McInnis

Though our daily struggles might be different from yours, he's still just a 3-year-old kid. He is happy, loving, hates vegetables, and doesn't want to brush his teeth just like every other kid out there. He is able to run, play, swing, laugh, and hug just like a lot of other kids. Don't treat him like some object that might break if you touch it, or like his diagnosis is contagious. Just treat him like every other kid, because if you don't take the time to get to know him, you are missing out.