As humans, we are not perfect. We are but a conglomeration of thoughts, ideas, stories, and mistakes; evolving slowly through the trial and errors stipulated from partaking in the beautiful thing we call life. Sometimes we come together to create beautiful, amazing things, like Beethoven's symphonies, Albert Einstein's creation of electric light, and pizza that can be ordered and delivered to your door. There are so many incredibly genius ideas floating about being slowly cajoled into creation, and then there are the five amazingly stupid ideas I am about to show you. These are ideas that not only was someone dumb enough to think of in the first place and then immediately decide that that was a thought they felt was worth pursuing, but then somehow convinced the rest of the management at whatever Ad agency they were working at that the racist, sexist, and straight disturbing ad's below would somehow benefit the company in any way, shape or form other than realizing the person who came up with the idea in the first place should be immediately fired. Enjoy.

1. Caribu Bitter Chocolate, 2010

Slogan: The Dark Side of Sweetness

Everyone loves food. Selling food really isn't that hard, especially when the food is chocolate. Just make it look yummy and you have literally done everything you need to do as a Ad agency. So what in the world is this? Please, someone explain, was this come up with and run through a mental institution or perhaps a jail? Is the target market those creepy dudes on Craigslist trying to buy children or sell weird blood stained couches? Where exactly did you feel it was necessary, Caribu, to show pictures of adorable kids grinding up live baby ducks or poisoning their siblings at tea parties? No, we get the pun, the dark side of sweetness and the kids are adorable and sweet and doing really disturbing, dark things, we get it, that's not really the problem here. The problem is that this is a terrible idea and I can guarantee sold zero chocolate bars, so you failed on all counts, which worries me because Caribu should at least have enough profit to pay for these poor children's therapy once they get old enough to realize what they posed in.

2. Intel, 2007

This one I almost get. I really do. I see what you are getting at Intel - you compared a sprinter to whatever incredibly fast speed I am going to take your word for that you are. It kind of makes sense, I give you no points for creativity but I mean A+ for effort, the intentions were there. However, whoever the hell thought that photoshopping six black sprinters in a position that happens to look just like someone bowing next to a smug looking white guy was a good idea, needs to wake up and smell that this isn't the 1950's and causal racism isn't simply brushed aside like other arbitrary things like women's rights and lung cancer. If only you had those sprinters speed perhaps you could keep up with all the hate mail you undoubtedly received after this great idea.

3. Burger King, 2009

There are a lot of things that confuse me about this ad. It seems to be hoping that we will see it and somehow confuse something about BK Super Seven Incher's with oral sex, which frankly is a stretch in many ways (if you catch my drift.) It seems to be targeting women with its caption, as if by relating eating their sandwich to what they are clearly insinuating in the picture, thousands of women will line up to buy it, because we all know that's every girls favorite thing to do. Not only is it vaguely sexist, the girl pictured ended up suing Burger King because she never gave them permission to use that photo, especially not in such a demeaning way. Good 'ol BK's response was that the Ad was only shown in Singapore, as if Singapore is so irrelevant that copyrights and sexism don't apply there. Wins all around, Burger King.

4. Federici Ice Cream, 2010

I mean, the best we can say is that props to this ad for being so thoroughly inclusive. They clearly realized they were offending a huge percentage of their customers and the entire Catholic church and decided to cover the rest of their bases by showing they are accepting of all sexual orientations and races. I can also offer 10/10 for creativity, because it's a rare person that connects illicit sacrilegious sex to eating ice cream, and then actually follows through with that thought, as if it might actually be a good idea. I once had a dream that a gay llama tried to sell me hair extensions, but I didn't go and try to make a commercial out of it. Frankly, I wouldn't touch this ice cream after this ad for fear of being struck with lightening from the heavens the moment I whip out a spoon, and no ice cream is worth being smote for.

5. Dove, 2013

Oh, Dove. This is just sad because it was so very avoidable. This had the potential to be just the classic, average joe, incredibly uncreative, and boring ad nobody would have cared about just like you intended it to be, if only you had done it right. However instead of just forgoing creativity or any real sort of effort in your ads, you also decided to leave out any editing this time and just throw a couple million dollar project at some poor coffee deprived employee who didn't believe in final drafts. No publicity is bad publicity, right? Unless your publicity is because you lined the models up darkest to light and put the 'before' side on the darkest model and the 'after' on the white one. It doesn't help that Dove is the whitest name of all time, it is literally named after the whitest creature in the animal kingdom that isn't albino. Just try like 2 percent harder next time Dove. Just 2 percent and you will be good to go.