Most (if not every) girl has it engrained in their minds that the minute we arrive to college, we’re expected to start looking for the man of our dreams. We’re thinking we’re going to find our future husbands in just a couple of months, and if we don’t, we’re alone forever. It just doesn’t seem reasonable.

Guys, on the other hand, are solely looking to have fun and don’t need to search for anything. We can see how this gets a little confusing when these two desires come face to face. It commonly leads to us girls feeling regretful, lonely, and insecure.

I find it particularly frustrating of the double standard presented in situations dealing with this modern day hook up culture. For instance, it’s socially acceptable for guys to have numerous “booty calls” and it’s totally normal for them to repeatedly use girls as a means to add to their hook up list. Instances occur more often than not of guys sending mass messages to girls in the middle of night until the first one responds.

As recipients, girls have a lot to think about. We wonder each and every time if that text was solely meant for us individually or if it really was just a desperate booty call that was sent to dozens of other girls. I wish guys understood this when they pressed the send button. I wish they knew how they make us feel. And I wish us girls would start to be more aware of guys’ motives to avoid getting hurt.

Here’s the advice of the century: guys need to start communicating better and prioritize our feelings. There are so many incidences where I wish a guy would just be honest with me, and tell me what he wants from the beginning instead of playing with my feelings. This could seriously avoid so much heartache and stress on a girl.

And for us girls, I think we need to try our very hardest not to get too attached too quickly.

I’m not condoning boys’ behaviors and choices they make when they clearly lead girls on. I’m just saying that we should start expecting it a little more. A guy should never put himself on a pedestal because he has a higher number of hookups than his friends and girls should never be considered a number, let alone, an object. We’re all humans, we all have urges and we all have feelings too.

I honestly believe that girls and guys need to begin starting college with different mindsets when it comes to hooking up and getting involved in relationships. What I mean is that instead of girls expecting each guy they meet to be “the one”, we should really start doing some reality checking. Heads up, most of the time, guys are only in it for the moment. Especially as freshmen, college boys have just one thing in mind. It involves you, but maybe not the side of you that you prefer.