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Relationships

Modern Dating

We are all guilty of falling into the ease of modern dating, but what ever happened to just asking someone out on a normal date?

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Modern Dating
PBS

Swipe right, swipe left, right, left. Close app. Wait a few hours. Reopen app. Check for matches.

Drink, hook up, wake up, say "see ya later."

This is the majority dating in the modern age. A compilation of swipes based solely on a person's physical appearance, a few short blurbs trying to summarize a person's entire personality, and cheesy pick-up lines. It's easy, risk-free, virtual. This is the easy way to date, there is no fear of rejection or challenging exchanging of ideas.

When we aren't behind a screen, we are surrounded by a culture in which it is considered a "win" if a guy takes you out to breakfast in the morning. Then, if you're lucky, after you have been "hooking up" for long enough, you might actually get asked to dinner...maybe. The odds are slim, why bother with the "woo-ing" of dating if you are already sleeping together?

I am not advocating for a knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet or buy me fancy gifts. I just find it far more attractive when you see a guy (or girl!) who is secure enough to call a person and ask him or her to dinner. It is far more attractive when someone you're interested in actually takes you out to dinner because they are interested in having a conversation without any expectations, rather than hiding behind a screen or having a drunk conversation at a bar.

We find ourselves looking for that next hook-up, and settling for less than we're worth. We're a generation of people who seek hook-ups instead of dates, instant gratification instead of love. Yet, we sit here assuming that if someone lets us into their bed for a few months, it's love.

That's not love, that's easy.

I have a lot of respect for men and women who are secure enough in themselves to take genuine interest in someone else. Once we are able to reconnect and stop settling, I am confident that we will find ourselves more satisfied with relationships. We will begin to grow as people by truly engaging with another person without settling.

This is on everyone to take initiative. Stop settling and start seeking real connection. Be bold, ask someone out for ice cream, or a drink, then maybe to dinner. We are all guilty of falling into the ease of the modern dating scence, but we need to be confident enough to seek meaningful connection. We need to get out from behind a screen of a phone, out from under the sheets, and back in the dining room for some conversation.

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