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Mixed Emotions Of Coming "Home"

When home isn't just one place.

Oct 24, 2016

They say home is where the heart is, but what happens when the heart isn't in one place? As an out of state college student, I left my home for a new place, but in a few short weeks, my college became my new home. How do you call some place home, when home isn't just once place, where does your heart truly lie.

My heart is home, cuddled up with my nephews watching Monsters Inc. My heart is playing fetch with my puppy. My heart is my warm bed in the house I grew up in. My heart is the familiar coffee shop filled with long talks and late night homework assignments. My heart is the drive to my best friends' houses. My heart is at my high school and on the fields filled with memories and amazing teammates, friends, coaches, and teachers. My heart is home, in the comfort of past, in the comfort of where I grew up.

My heart is home, waking up in my dorm room and rolling my eyes with my roommate because we have to go to class at 9 am. My heart is laughing so hard in the common room with my new friends. My heart is long nights in the library studying for midterms. My heart is late nights filled with friends I will never forget. My heart is in a new city, filled with new adventures, new people, and a new home.

So which is home? Both are home, each one holds such a huge place in my heart but for so many different reasons. To say goodbye to either "home" hurts in their own way. I am so excited to see my family when I go home to Boston, but to leave my home at Hofstra and my college family breaks my heart to say goodbye. My heart is caught between to homes, each place will always be "home" to me and the memories and people from each place will always fill my heart with happiness.

Each goodbye is filled with a twinge of pain among the joy I have. The goodbyes hurt, I hate missing out on events and memories in both places, missing little things at home is so hard, but going home and missing late night talks and laughs with new friends hurts just as bad as missing my family. When you're heart is torn between two homes, goodbyes will always be painful and joyful, a goodbye and reunion.

It's okay to not just have one home, to love your life in two places. Home truly is where the heart is and home will always be there. My home in Boston with family and my childhood will always be there to come back to and my home at Hofstra with friends who became family will always be there when I come back. Having two "homes" is hard but it has filled my life with more joy and love than a single home could ever have.

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