One element of college that no one seems to talk about with incoming freshmen and something many of us tried to avoid acknowledging upon move-in, is how it would feel missing out on family events that once seemed ordinary. It was always assumed we would be there for all the important things until suddenly we weren’t. It's not so much that our absence at family gatherings has come as a surprise, but that the longing for quality family time that comes from this separation is so much more real than most expected.
I missed my cousin’s wedding for my college move-in day, and though of course my family understood and accepted that fact, it didn’t make it any easier. I found myself torn between looking at photos from the special day or ignoring them altogether because as much as I wanted to feel like I was a part of the occasion it was painful to look at pictures that would never include me. When years from now, they tell stories about the reception or talk about how beautiful she looked coming down the aisle, I won’t be able to join in and nod in agreement.
So many of my friends have missed out on a younger sibling’s birthday or been hours away for their cousin’s first soccer game. Missing out on Superbowl Sunday, a yearly tradition in many families with football themed snacks and family gathered around the TV or having final exams when you would usually be putting up Christmas decorations together are just things that come with the territory. It seems crazy that for so many students something as amazing as college life means losing out on family time.
Depending on who you ask, this may be a blessing, but for many it makes every time they return to school a bittersweet moment. It’s a weird feeling on a Sunday afternoon not spending it in the family room of my house while my mom makes dinner and my Dad watches football, blaring the volume and distracting me from homework. The little things that I took for granted, and even annoyed me, make it feel like something’s missing. In high school, we all sort of dreaded being dragged to these family events when we had so many "better" offers from friends. All that time of not making these gatherings a priority has made us that much more desperate for time with our loved ones now.
It’s an adjustment everyone makes because as much as you might want to, living at home forever is not an option. In spite of this, the time spent apart makes all the special events you make it home for all the more special and that’s what you should focus on next time. It can be easy to forget that we're exchanging another couple years at home, always comfortably surrounded by family, for these years of being away long enough to actually find out who we are.
