Let me first start with saying that although I'm currently in the best relationship of my life, I also enjoyed being single. I used to be a relationship type of gal until a breakup led to a tremendous amount of pain and, consequently, I was entirely turned off by the concept of love. And there's nothing like being single and ready to mingle!
During my single life, I found myself.
I was able to learn about who I was, what I wanted, and had fun without any remorse. It took convincing, but I finally gave into my current boyfriend and I wouldn't change a thing–the last feeling I have is regret. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that from time to time I don't look back to my single days. And I swear, this isn't necessarily a bad sign to ponder over these times of the past–my parents are in a blissful marriage of 33 years and they always share stories from their bachelor/ette days! There are underrated perks of being single and sacrifices are made when you're in a relationship.
For starters, you don't have to share your bathroom... or any of your precious "me time"
When you don't have anyone in your life but yourself, you can devote all your time to you! You can sleep as much as you want–I love sex as much as anyone but sometimes you just want to catch some Z's. You can binge watch any and all the Netflix shows you want. The list goes on and on.
Many of my friends have confided in me that sometimes they think back to the days when they were texting a gagillion boys. They received a buttload of attention without a worry or tie in the world. They didn't expect anything from the guys and, in return, they weren't expected to do anything. The freedom can be unnerving but also liberating as the power is in your hands. Love is a vulnerable feeling, but when you're single without a care in the world, it can be a break from reality or a break for your heart.
Going out with your girlfriends, dancing, flirting, not worrying about your man back home and his anxiety over anyone trying to hurt you, that independence is energizing. That being said, it's important to note that when in a relationship you are still independentbut it's simply not the same. As my roommates glam up for a night out, I choose to stay in and FaceTime my long-distance boyfriend, because that's what I want and choose to do–the parties no longer interest me. Nonetheless, I'm allowed to reminisce on the days when I too would throw on some heels and lipstick and gleam at the attention from random guys. I don't need or truly desire that anymore, my boyfriend is more than enough, but it's not wrong to look back into your past experiences. They are a part of you, your history, and your growth.
We are young and never want to feel like we are wasting something, losing something, or having FOMO.
So, do something to avoid those negative feelings. Never feel guilty for choosing to go out with your friends instead of staying in! Have fun and do what you sincerely want to do because that's the healthiest thing you can do for your relationship: self-care. There's nothing wrong with a girl's night, getting a massage, or going alone for a mani and pedi. Spice things up in the bedroom so your sexy time never becomes complacent. Grab your S.O. and go on an adventure. Do something apart from your partner!
As a whole, though, when in a good relationship, you will come to terms with the fact that what you unquestionably desire is to stay with your partner. At the end of the day, relationships are hard work, but it all should be worth it. If you are truly happier being single than in a relationship, something is fishy; nevertheless, laughing with your friends about the single days is more than just okay, it's healthy! You'll realize how happy you are in the present moment and thankful for all the single-girl-moments you had.
