Dear Friend in Heaven,
This time every year is difficult. I remember all of the things we did together those first two weeks of freshman year. I remember cutting up shirts, leggings and socks to make costumes for the Zombie Ball. I remember cheering louder than everyone around me as I voted for you to win the costume contest. I remember going to the hypnotist on campus--you were so sure you would get hypnotised, and I was determined just to be an audience member. I remember laughing as we watched the clip of hypnotized me smelling your hair. I remember watching and reciting "Mean Girls" verbatim in my sweltering dorm room on our first Friday night. Most importantly, I remember you taking me in your arms and accepting me: a crying freshman girl in the middle of an anxiety attack. I knew in that moment that we would be great friends - and I think you did, too.
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Exactly two weeks after move-in, you, my first best friend in college, were ripped away from me. I still do not understand why, and I probably never will. The only thing that comforts me is feeling your presence as I eat banana runts, watch Nicholas Sparks movies, sing at the top of my lungs and dance in the rain. I know you are still with me in the memories of the joy you brought to me during such a pivotal transition in my life.
You taught me many important lessons and continue to do so. I learned to accept help from those around me. This lesson was so crucial after you passed. For the first time in my life, my support system was 70 miles away. Losing you forced me to lean on the people that were within reach: my brother, my neighbors, my floormates and my professors. Coming together to support me, and to support one another, created an unbreakable bond. It is incredibly difficult to think that something good can come out of such a tragic, sad situation, but I know you would want me to think of the ways you blessed my life and not the ways that you are missing from it. The people that were there for me during this hardship are now some of my best friends, and I have you to thank for that.
I still think of you everytime I see zebra print, spiderman, crayons and goldfish. I still shed a tear now and then. I still wear pink, zebra stripes and leggings every September 14th. I still miss you. I always will.
Love,
Your Friend on Earth
