Hey y'all, I hope you've all enjoyed your week! And as Friday rolls around, we can all finally take that deep sigh of satisfaction as we enjoy time to simply live for ourselves a little and have a good time. I remember when everyday was like this - when I was a kid on the playground and I didn't even know what the word "responsibility" meant. But of course, we all have to grow up. And this is not a bad thing. In fact, we can make adulthood whatever we want. Because at the same time we learned the word "responsibility," we also discovered the word "freedom."
However, today, I would like to honor the olden days. You see, just as I was searching through my files for some recent school work, I stumbled upon a tenth grade short story project, and I just wanted to share it with you - to remind you that sometimes, no matter how much fun and liberating adulthood can be - there's always time to embrace your inner carefree kid:
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I awoke to the poundin’ of five hundred feet above my head, leavin’ me starin’ in shock. What in God’s good name could be all this ruckus in ma’s quiet little inn? Sittin’ up slowly in bed, I reached down to slip on my mud-covered sneakers. Truckin’ out into the hall, I peaked curiously into the main room where ma sat in her old rocking chair, shaking her head and speakin’ like a wild woman, twenty-five miles an owah. I inched closah, until I could see the whole room and everythin’ in it. A man I couldn’t recall eva seeing before in my God graced lifetime was holding the back o’ my mama’s chair, tryin’ to calm her tirade. Da sat crouched in front o’ her, holdin’ her hand in his own. Aunt Margie paced around the room wildly and I couldn’t help but gasp when she grabbed Maggie-Mae’s favorite vase, the one with the croutons and dragonflies, and threw it on the ground. I tried to turn as fast as my little legs could go, but I tripped on my own feet and fell flat on my butt. Now in all this commotion, I caused more trouble, as I always do, then if I had just said, “Sorry Ma’am, now I won’t go eavesdropping no more,” and walked away. But now, as I looked up, I saw mama’s shocked expression and everyone else’s angry faces staring like little devils down at me.
“Well, I do declare,” Auntie Margie pinched up her face real good and marched over to me. Grabbin’ me by my arm and yanking me till I was on my feet, her face got all red like a tomato, a real ripe tomato, and she done look like she ate a real sour lemon. Thinkin’ bout all these fruits and stuff, I done forgot where I was and soon unpleasantly zoned back into my great fat aunt lecturin’ me about somethin’ I probably didn’t do.
“Whatttt?” I whined, yanking my arm from Marge’s rough grasp, “I didn’t do nothin’.” Well, here see, I knew that was a lie and I probably done got me in double trouble for that lie.
Now my aunt, she’s got a body like a pear. She’s all skinny and stuff from her chest up, but if you look any lower, it’s like God didn’t know what to do with all two hundred-fifty other pounds of her, and kinda decided to just shove it all in her belly and on down. She ain’t worth a rat’s butt second-glance anyway.
So I got The Pear mad. I could almost see the flames jumpin’ out her eyes - she got them devil eyes - when she raised her arm straight up to lay a smack across my face. That man, the one that had his hands on ma’s chair, raced over like a good gentlemen and stopped my aunt, grabbin’ her hand, and holdin’ it gently at her side until she calmed her horses. Don’t get me wrong, she was mad as a bull, but all she said to me was, “clean up that darn ugly mess of dirt off my floor right this instant, Mary-Mags, and don’t you dare show your face in this house for the rest of the day,” she stopped, looked me straight in the eye, “you understand?”
Now with everyone lookin’ at me all expectant-like I had to say, “Yes Ma’am,” but I had fire in my eyes and you bet she saw it.
“Ma-ry-Maags!” Sue chortled, slapping her thigh like there was no tomorrow, “You gotta be the lousiest, craziest, wild-eyed little ten and three-quarters year old that I ever done got the grace to know.” She grinned, taking a big gulp from her lemon-drenched sweet-tea. Sighin’, she leaned back casually on the rockin’ porch swing; the one her nana done got her last winter, and shook her head side to side, “If I was like you for a minute,” she looked at me all big-eyed, “ I’d be sleepin’ with the pigs for a week.”
I grinned, showing my perfect princess pearly whites. “Sue, girly, you’re crazy. You’re momma think you just bacon and a bag o’ chips, and I can count the times I’ve seen you in trouble on my good hand,” I said, shoving my left hand in her face. “Naw. You gotta do something real bad to make your mama mad.”
She stared real good at me for a while, then started to nod real slow, kinda scary-like if you ask me. Her big brown eyes got even bigger, if that was possible, and she jumped right out her seat like a dog that seen a squirrel run right front it’s face. “Hey Mags,” she looked at me real close, scrutinizin’ my face like there was something on it, “I think I done got a relevation.”
“I think ya mean... revelation,” I paused, thinking. “But what on God’s green earth do ya mean?” I plopped down on the wooden floor in front of her, lookin’ up, not knowin’ what crazy thing was gonna come out her mouth next. I figure I best sit down, as not to flip and trip when I hear her new wacko idea.
“Well, I never gone and done somethin’ real bad in my life...like you said, and I know I’m only nine and a half, and ya could say I got me my whole life in front o’ me... to do something lolo. But you know what, anything may happen any day, and Mary-Mags,” she looked at me all formal-like, “I want an adventure.”
I had no idea what to say. After a second, I burst out laughin’; my spit flyin’ everywhere. Her triumphant grin and “so there” expression darkened to a frown. “I mean,” I said, standin’ up and brushin’ the dirt off my thighs, “Not to consume your lightbulb or nothin’, but uh, Sue, you’re just too much of a goody two-shoes for that kinda stuff. Who knows, maybe in a...” I tilted my head to the side, elbowin’ her playfully, “...hundred years or so you’ll be more like me. But honey bunch, I don’t think so,” I said, a sly grin on my face.
She stomped her feet. “Mary-Magssss!” She wined, her face dark and her eyes steamin’, “that’s exactly the point! I wanna be more like you. You just always have so much fun! Just pretty, pretty please just this once will you teach me how to be naughty, and I promise I’ll never bother you again.” She stuck out her bottom lip and held out her pinky to me. I hesitated, unsure whether I really wanted to let her grow up so fast.
“And anyway,” she said, noticing my hesitation, “I have a real good plan. We might get in trouble for a little while, but everyone will love us in the end.” Now she was back to that little proud face o’ hers, that tiny nose stickin’ up straight in the air.
“And how do you figure that, Sue,” I looked at her pointedly, “I sure never got praised for doing nothin’ bayahd.”
“Oh you’ll see, Mags. You’ll see.” And there was no mistaking the glint in her eye.
As the light flicked on, I peered into Sue’s room all confused, followin’ her soft footsteps. “Sue... I still don’t get what exactly we’re doin’ here. I thought you said we’re goin’ on an adventure. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Your room is cool and stuff, but -”
She cut me off. “Shh,” she motioned for me to hush up, drawin’ me to her closet. She slid open the door, all ninja-like, and started shufflin’ through her piles o’ clothes.
“Now Sue, if this is all a trick to get me to organize your closet again, I swear to G---”
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” she hissed, wavin’ me over. In her hand, was a clump of folded papers. She drew out the first one and set the others carefully on the floor, shovin’ them under the rack. Tip toe-in’ over to the door, she shut it quietly, and turned off the light.
I muffled a scream. “Sue!” I whispered as loud as one could whisper, “I can’t see a gall-darn thing!”
A single light flickered on about three feet away from me; one itty bitty circle in the midst o’ all this darkness. It got closer and closer and I couldn’t see Sue anywhere. The closer it got, the bigger it got, and all of a sudden, it was right in front of me. I stood stock still and so did it. All of a sudden, it was gone.
“Boo!” Sue’s voice pierced my ear.
I screamed and she stuck her tiny hand over my mouth, gigglin’. We toppled over onto the floor. “Sorry bud, I had too.” She giggled some more and I shoved her, poutin’.
“You scared me, Sue. Don’t do that!” I picked myself up off the floor and crossed my arms in front o’ my chest.
“Okay, tough guy, come on,” she got up, grinnin’. “Here,” the light flickered on again and she had that mysterious piece of paper back in her hand. In her other hand, a flashlight shone, illuminatin’ the paper. I looked down, realizin’ what it was.
“Sue Maybeck Sarah Jun-yah!” You brought me all the way here to look at your silly newspaper collection? Why I oughta -”
“Hush, Mary-Mags. For goodness sakes, hush for once in your life.” She looked at me with those big brown eyes and through the glare o’ the flashlight I saw she was serious. I hushed.
“Look.”
And I looked. As soon as I did, those four words caught my eye. Midnight Burglar Strikes Again. It was on the front page of the Daily Boot and I’d heard my parents talkin’ about it just this mornin’. That must have been what all the ruckus was about. Yeyas! That’s right! My aunt was just ragin’ last night about “depleted funds” or some grown-up stuff like that! But what does it have to do with us? I asked that very same question to Miss Sarah Junior and she replied with a string of words and a glint of excitement.
When she had finished explainin’, I wanted to know how on earth she had figured all this out. “But, Sue, I just don’t unda-stayand. How do ya know they’re gonna strike theyar next? And tonight for that mattah?”
“Well you see, Mary-Mags, I been followin’ them in the paypah for the last two o’ so weeks, and I found out they got a pattahn. Now, for the first fowah days, it was house, bank, house, house. The next fowah, it was house, house, bank, house. After that, it was house, house, house, bank, and so on. Now today is a bank day. Since they’ve been rotatin’ and so, I know this. And I doubt since this been goin’ on for so long that they’ll just up and stop. So... today just before ya came and saw me and told me bout yowah story with that pear aunt of yours, I done counted all the banks in town. And there’s only one left. And that’s where they gone be tonight, I bet you all my horses and dolls.” She finished triumphantly, that grin o’ hers stretchin’ from head to toe. “Now ya see, that’s where we come in.”
“So we’re gonna tell the sheriff, huh? Now Sue, that’s real smart, but I still don’t get what’s adventurous at all about that!” I guess I was lookin’ at her so expectant-like, kind what you think of a little baby when it needs it’s bottle, that she started talkin’ like my momma.
“Hun,” she looked me straight in the eye and put her little hand on my shoulder, “Tonight, we ain’t tellin’ the sheriff nothin’. Tonight,” she paused dramatically, “we are the sheriff.”
For the next five hours before midnight, it was chaos. Between runnin’ back an’ forth between my house and Sue’s, explainin’ to my momma why I was sleepin’ at Sue’s tonight and explainin’ to her momma why she’s sleepin’ at mine, gatherin’ all the stuff we needed for the adventure of our lifetime, plannin’ out the whole expedition and the whole defeat of the bad-guys stuff, arguin’ back and forth at how long exactly we’d probably be grounded after this, and finally, just before ten ‘o clock, headin’ out to the bank with a bag full of accessories and a deck o’ cards.
Once we got there, we had to make sure the coast was clear, and Sue and I split up for a while, roundin’ every corner in our quiet little town, and peakin’ in every niche. We met up about an hour later, at the back end of the bank, and recounted, for the seventeenth time, all our equipment. Agreein’ that we had everythin’ together, we went over our plan again. Once we knew we for shuwah that everythin’ was set, we gathered up our bags and settled down at the side o’ the buildin’. To get our nerves settled, we did what we always did; played a little gin, and at 11:45, we picked up our stuff for the final time, gave each other a ginormous hug and a big smack on each cheek the French way, and parted.
“Good luck!” I call-whispered out to her, and she call-whispered back, “You too! But we won’t need it!” The last thing I saw was her giant quiet grin before she turned the corner and made her way to the roof, climbin’ up through the trees until she reached the top. I waved up to her, and she waved back down to me, but it was too dark for me to see if she did anythin’ else.
After what seemed like an hour, but was really only about ten minutes, I saw three flashes from the rooftop and heard a crow caw somewhere. That was our signal.
I jumped up, hurryin’ around the corner like a spy, and tried to hush the rustlin’ of my bag by grippin’ it as tight as I could. My hands were a shakin’ so hard that it took all my strength not to drop everythin’ and ruin the mission right then and there.
All of a sudden, I heard a noise. But it wadn’t one we had planned. And it didn’t come from the roof.
I was shakin’ so hard that I had to set my stuff down for a second because I just knew if I didn’t it would all come clatterin’ down anyway. I heard somethin’ rustle in the bushes. All around me the night came alive. Before I could do anythin’, five quiet figures were runnin’ to the door. It took everythin’ I had not to scream and I covered my mouth with both my hands. Peekin’ round the corner, and slowly but surely inchin’ closer, I noticed that them burglars were awfully short, and didn’t look all too scary. I could handle it. I unzipped my bag as quiet as my shakin’ hands could handle, grabbin’ hold o’ that zipper, and pullin’ it along with my finger across the fabric so that there was no apparent noise. I pulled out a rock. As I about threw it, reachin’ my arm back as far as it could go, somethin’ grabbed me. I swung around to shove him off, panic lightin’ up my face, and scooted back as fast as I could. I ripped my arm out his grasp and gasped and the jagged marks on my skin. Thorn marks. I looked up, confused. I didn’t know whether to be delighted or mad but as soon as I saw the thorn bush that had got tangled round my arm, I laughed. As soon as I did though, one ‘o them dirty robbers heard me and looked over.
I ducked down faster than a goose at huntin’ season. The rock fell from my hands and back into the bag. When I strained my ears I could hear them talkin’.
“I think I heard somethin’.”
“Joe, you know what I think. I think you’re crazy. And paranoid. You always do this. Just relax. Soon we’ll be out ‘o here and we’ll win the bet for sure. Just ten minutes Joe, please.”
Bet? What was going on? There was more talkin’, so I stopped my brain yappin’, as my aunt called it, and listened.
“Stop using names,” he hissed, his voice a little too high-pitched. I guess some men are just like that, I thought, pushin’ my crazy ideas to the back o’ my mind. “And if I wasn’t so paranoid,” he continued, “as you like to call it, you’d all be in jail by now.”
“Cut it out.” A third voice. “If you don’t quit you’re yappin’, we’ll be here for a lot longer than ten minutes. Now hush and hand me that safety pin.”
Oh no. I could hear them openin’ the lock. It seems like there was no security what so ever on this bank. Our town really is lucky that me and Sue are crazy. I grinned quietly, then shook the thoughts out of my head. Till later at least.
Before I could think twice, I dug fervently into my backpack and found the rock again. I grabbed it up in my clammy palms and threw with all my might just past the men, and it soared over their heads to land with a great clatter at the foot of the fourth one.
“What in God’s name -”
I threw another one. And another. Soon they were piling all around the men, and the shaken robbers were dancin’ around in a panic, tryin’ to find the source of the rocks. At that moment, Sue jumped gracefully down from the rooftop, and landed on her feet as quiet as a mouse. Between her gymnastics and my rodeo trainin’, we were set.
She looked at me and nodded, barely hidin’ a grin and tossed me the rope she had used to get off the roof. I caught it in my left hand, tying it in a quick knot.
She took a deep breath and raced into the open. Once she was across from me she gave a great shout. All the robbers stopped their commotion, and noticed not us, but only Sue. In a cry of rage, the five of them charged towards her, lookin’ like a mass of bulls.
Perfect.
With a cry, I swung the rope in the air, circlin’ it round and round. When I felt it was just the right moment, I tossed it. It landed perfect. Around every. single. robber.
With a exclamation of joy, Sue ran toward the bundle of thieves, and grabbed hold ‘o the rope. Holdin’ the two ends; the single rope end and the one with knot, she pulled as hard as she could so the men were all scrunched together and their arms tight at their sides. Tossin’ the line end to me, she grabbed hold ‘o the opposite side, and together, laughin’ at the robbers’ cries of protest, we began to spin. An’ spin. An’ spin. Soon, we all toppled over. Sue and I jumped up as fast as we could and viewed our masterpiece. All five robbers were tied together on their sides, rollin’ around, tryin’ to escape my genius sailor's knot. Try as they might, with their hands tied to their sides, all they could do was roll, and roll, and roll.
Sue and I cheered at the top of our lungs, not carin’ who heard us. It was probably that which saved us, for as soon as we did so, about ten different doors opened, linin’ the street, and tons of families rushed out ‘o their homes. Children were bundled up in blankets, parents were carryin’ their babies, and the elderly were marchin’ behind, frowin’ and grumblin’ to themselves.
Before we knew it, every house in our little town lit up and hundreds of people were streamin’ out into the streets. Boys were hootin’ to be out past their bedtimes and girls were scowlin’ and shakin’ their heads. Little toddlers ran ahead of their mammas’ and daddies’ and everyone was rubbin’ their eyes, wonderin’ what all the ruckus was about. The good ‘ole ruckus of my little town. Sue and I stood proudly, arm in arm, facin’ everyone in the town, for the bundle of burglars, as it came to be called, lay at our feet and everyone stood appalled. Grins lit up our faces at the same time the lights of the houses lit up the night.
A gasp flew through the crowd. The burglars at our feet tried to hide their faces in shame as their mamas’ and daddies’ gasped the loudest.
“Joe?!” One mother called out in shock.
“James Junior?!” Another called out in shame.
And so on and so forth until every boy burglar had a mom or a dad, an uncle or an aunt, a grandma or an grandpa, or even a brother or a sister scold them in front the whole town.
Sue and I looked at each other with looks of great shock. “This whole time,” I said to her, with a mix of surprise and ecstasy, “We were savin’ our God graced town from five thirteen year old boys with a cravin’ for trouble?”
Sue elbowed me and whispered, “Who knows Mags? We could be savin’ the town from ourselves. Maybe if we hadn’t a gotten our cravin’ for adventure out now, we could have been doin’ the same darn crazy things.”
“Nah,” I whispered back. “There’s one thing ya gotsta remember here. We ain’t boys, Sue.” I wiggled my eyebrows and we both collapsed, gigglin’.
Until now, the town had missed us with all the commotion around us. As soon as the boys were taken care of, our mommas’ and daddies’ and aunts’ and uncles’ and brothers’ and sisters’ and friends’ all spotted us and ran to us. We were pilled onto by what seemed to us like hundreds of buddies, our parents shakin’ their heads with a little bit of dismay and a lot of pride.
Suddenly, the crowd collapsed and withdrew. My aunt came stridin’ toward me. Before I could rise up and tell her don’t she think she should be done with all her snot, she enveloped me in a great big hug, her fat jigglin’ all over. She pulled back when she was done, and tears, yes tears, were dancin’ in her eyes. She cupped my face in her hands and smiled, “I am so, so proud of you my darlin’. I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you lately. I just knew you had greatness in you and I wanted to train the naughty out of you to see only the good.” She leaned in, “I guess a little naughty never hurt anyone,” she whispered in my ear quietly. When she looked at me again, she winked, and turned to call over the man I had seen this mornin’. He came over, and shook my hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, my dear,” he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it delicately. “You’re aunt brought me over from the next town, said she wanted a tutor for her promising niece.” His accent was funny. Sort of British, I think.
I looked up at my aunt. “Really?” I asked, beamin’.
She nodded, wipin’ her eyes. “I love you darlin’. I know it’s hard for you to see it, but I do. I was so mad this mornin’ ‘cause I was afraid if Mr. Turnbault saw you just a gall-darn mess, he would up and leave. I didn’t want that at all,” she smiled, lookin’ up at the man.
I looked over their shoulder at my ma and pa and they smiled. I saw Sue and her parents together; they were all wrapped up in an embrace.
I grinned to myself. Sometimes being naughty is okay. Savin’ the day feels even bettah. But you know what’s the best, and what will always be the best? Savin’ the day with just the right amount of naughty.
I turned to Sue and winked. She winked her eyes right back at me. In all the love and crazy around me, I found a new name for myself. Mary-Mags was gone. In her place stood Miss Adventure Mags.
Make way everybody.
There’s a new sheriff in town.
