I would like to start this off by stating that medicine is a wonderful tool for people to use in their lives to keep them alive, healthy, and happy.
As many of my readers know, I struggle with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. I've had suicidal thoughts and have been in therapy to gain skills to cope with my ailments.
Sadly, the therapy was not enough and I was prescribed an array of pills to sleep, not over analyze my worries, and get through my day without jumping out the window.
Yet, I have concerns for myself every night when I take many pills to keep my day and night going.
I struggle everyday feeling as though I've given up every time I gulp down a pill.
I wasn't strong enough to get through it on my own.
I wasn't good enough to be happy independently.
Therefore, I grow weaker with each pill I put into my system. The hope of ever being off of the medicine is close to none and I feel guilty that I can't live life on my own.
At least that's what the demons in my brain want me to think. They turn out the lights of hope to replace it with gases of guilt. With each thought of despair the lights of hope gets dimmer.
That's why I'm ready to change the way that I view my condition. I'm ready to tear down the conception I have about medicine in my life.
I'm not weak because I couldn't do it on my own. I'm strong because I'm getting help.
I know that life wasn't meant to be done alone and I'm happy that I have crutches by my side.
Right now, I am ready to accept the future at what it is now. I will get through this chemical imbalance. I can, and will fight through the lies the demons put into my brain.
And I also know that I'm not alone.
I hope that your reading this relishing in the hope that you can do what I can and SO much more.
YOU can fight through the demons, the lies, and the darkness. I know that it seems hard and painful but it's worth it, and we can do it TOGETHER.
WE have no control over what we feel but we do have control over our actions.
WE aren't weak in this time of darkness nor are we less of a life because of the tools we use to live.
WE can get through this and we will get stronger in the process.
I'm here for you and I hope that you're here for me as we soar over these mountains of guilt.
Love,
Sarah Goldblum
