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Some Insight To My Self-Questioning

Sometimes I'm a little too in my head.

26
Some Insight To My Self-Questioning
Jacqulea Anderson

Have you ever wondered why you question everything?

The idea that you have to know why and how,

That you need to understand why the world works the way it does.


Knowing that it's not working,

That while yes it's turning, it's slowly falling apart.


Have you ever wondered why you need your headphones?

Why you require them in order to shut out the world?

Yourself.


Because you hate how society has painted you,

How it's so conflicted and has made you hate yourself.


Have you ever wondered why you feel the need to run and hide?

To take your blanket that smells like safety and fills you with warmth,

To know that it won't protect you, but you take in its simplicity.


The monster is still going to get you,

Cotton won't protect you from yourself.


Have you ever wondered why you look at the world so negatively?

That everything always has a con,

That you barely see the pros and wonder if you're actually okay.


Are you okay?

No seriously, are you good?


Have you ever wondered why your heart never seems to go out?

No matter how many times it has been broken,

No matter how much your chest clenches.


It continues its rhythmic pumping without your permission—

That's not nice.


Have you ever wondered why people love to gaze at the sky?

They say it's blue, but is it really? Has it always been this soothing color?

If people reference being blue to sadness, is that why the sky cries?


To cover your tears with its own,

To drench the world in its pain.


Have you ever wondered why you always struggled to love yourself?

It's not like you haven't tried,

Sometimes it's hard to find admirable qualities.


Yet you continue to search,

You crave it because it makes you want to live.


Have you ever wondered why you're still here by your own terms?

You've never thought to end your existence—

You've just questioned it.


Yet, you push forward somehow and stand somewhat tall.

Don't fall, girl, please don't fall.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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