My head is pounding when I open my eyes. My mouth is dry and my eyes are puffy from crying myself to sleep. There’s an awful crick in my neck from passing out on the floor. I go to get up and my thigh stings. It causes my headache to subside a little.
I get a bottle of water from the fridge and lean against the counter. I reach for my laptop and wait for it to turn on. If he’s already found me I might as well check my Facebook. I login and Eric’s face is the first thing I see. It’s a wedding photo of him and Karen. His blue eyes pop against the black suit. He still looks fit and tan, bastard. His shaggy brown hair still makes me want to run my hands through it. There is something seriously twisted about that. She looks like she’s put on a few pounds. Good, serves her right. Her hair still looks like she did her blonde highlights herself. They’re chunky and they don’t blend well with her brownish red hair.
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It’s like watching a tragic accident and not being able to pull your eyes away. I click on the comments to see what people are saying. Congratulations take over my screen. Everything is positive and best wishes. Even people who knew me and knew about our past. No one found it odd that he was with my best friend. EX best friend that is. She has no idea what he’s really like.
I met Eric my first year at college. It was during one of those rent a puppy for the day events. I’m a sucker for a guy who is good with animals. We got to talking and he ended up asking me out on a date. We went out on several dates; he did everything a girl dreamed about. He left sweet notes on my car for me to find, he called every night we didn’t see each other, and he would send me texts during the day about how much he cared about me. All of that stopped when we moved in together. He became controlling and insulting about my body, my attitude, and whatever else he could think of. When I would try to leave though, he would apologize and promise to do better. I thought it was a genuine apology so I stayed. I should have just left and never looked back.
I slam the screen shut on the past and go to the bathroom. I don’t recognize the shell looking back at me. Mascara trails down my face like I’ve been casted in a horror film. Sleeping with my hair curled was a bad idea. The blonde curls that looked silky and smooth last night now look like I teased them for hours. I can’t even get my hand through them to try and untangle them. I rest my hands on the sink and lean in close to the mirror. I stare into my eyes hoping to see some resemblance of my old self, but I know she’s gone.
I hop into the shower so I don’t scare people at the gym with my hot mess of a look. I don’t bother drying my hair afterwards, I just detangle it the best I can and throw it up in a hair tie. I put on my leggings and gym shirt and rush out the door. The one thing I love about my crappy apartment is that it is just around the corner from a gym.
The gym looks run down on the outside, and honestly it looks the same inside but it’s still open. The owner, Rick, didn’t bother with expensive flooring he just lined the floor with blue gym mats. The door to the gym is just a garage door that he just leaves open all day; rain or shine. There are two rows of punching bags that hang on a track so they can easily be moved down the line. There are different weights and machines in the back, but I mostly stay in the front where the bags are.
I set my stuff against the wall and get my gloves out. I stretch for a few minutes and then step up to the bag. I start working through my routine and can’t stop the images that always enter my mind. Throw a right punch, I see Eric. Another blow, I see the messages to her. Another, him on top. Another, them together. Another, his smug smile.
"Kid, you hit that thing any harder and it's gonna swing into next week." Rick's eye's crinkle when he smiles. It's what made me trust him; I knew it was genuine. His wife, Maggie, is the same way. I met Rick when I first walked in the gym. I was reserved at first because it seemed like he was being thoughtful, but I wasn’t sure why. I’m not the best judge of character. He later told me he saw the lack of light in my eyes and knew he had to help. I met Maggie after that and they became my surrogate parents in a way. I haven’t told them my past, but they don’t pry.
I say hi to Rick and we talk about Maggie for a few minutes before I start to pack up my things. Then I head out the door to go home to shower before work. My phone vibrates. It’s an unknown number.
I see you took my advice on working out. Keep it up Sweetheart.
My body goes cold with fear. I look around, but I don’t see him. I don’t waste time; I run to my apartment and slam the door behind me. I bolt all the locks and slide down to the floor to catch my breath. I know I can’t hide in here all day, I have work. So I get myself together and get in the shower. I lock the bathroom door first. Every little noise causes my heart to jump. I manage to get myself presentable and leave the apartment.
It never fails that I have to force myself to watch the ground as I walk. Otherwise I search every face I pass to see if it’s him. I get to the café and say hi to my boss. The first couple of hours go by without a problem. Then Josh walks in.
