There's only one word that has the power to make me physically cringe when I hear it. My face gets hot, my eyes water and my mind starts to race. Should I interrupt what she’s saying and tell her how offensive that word is to me? But what if it’s awkward after I say something? Then again, if I don’t say something, she’ll never know that word hurts me… By the time I finally decide that I should say something, it’s too late. The topic has changed, but I can’t stop thinking about that one word: retard.
Some people might think I’m overreacting, but the implications behind it make it so much more than “just a word.” Individuals with special needs used to be diagnosed with mental retardation, and unfortunately, the r-word became accepted slang for describing someone or something as stupid or idiotic. Whether you mean it or not, using the r-word offends people with intellectual and developmental disabilities as well as those who love and care for them. It’s a derogatory term and it perpetuates hateful stereotypes. Joking around with your friends and calling them “retards” or saying that something is “retarded” when you mean “stupid” is not cool.
My youngest brother, Joey, was born with Down Syndrome. In technical terms, it means that he has an extra 21st chromosome. It’s associated with distinct physical traits and a mild-to-severe mental handicap. However, he is so much more than his disability. He’s without a doubt the sweetest, funniest and most genuine person I know. He is helpful around the house (although he prefers yard work), is passionate about ghost hunting and absolutely loves Kenny Chesney. His loves school mascots, McDonald’s chicken nuggets and playing Angry Birds on his iPad.
That’s why I get so offended when you use the r-word. You may not mean it this way at all, but what I hear is you equating something you find stupid or dumb with my brother. Joey has so much love and joy to give, so I question why you would want to keep a word that continually excludes and segregates him in your vocabulary. In fact, he’s more similar to “typical” kids his age than he is different. He has inside jokes with his friends and would love nothing more than to have a girlfriend. How is that any different than most teenage boys?
Joey is so very far from stupid. He’s actually quite a
curious and talented young man. I can’t even begin to tell you how many games
of horse he’s beaten me at, and he never fails to ask me where I’m going and
why when I’m about to leave the house. I love his imperfect smile and competitive
nature. He’s always willing to pick and
arrange flowers with me in the spring, lay out in the sun during the summer, start
a bonfire in the fall and shovel snow in the winter. And between his “Spongebob”
and “Drake and Josh” quotes, he never fails to make me laugh.
It’s an older sister’s duty to look out for her younger brother, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m asking you to please stop using a word that hurts him, his friends and his family.
Help celebrate World Down Syndrome Day on Mar. 21 by taking the pledge to stop saying the r-word at www.r-word.org.
