If you’re a college freshman like me or older… what were your memories like as a child? I’m assuming they were probably similar to mine; playing pretend games outside, biking to your nearby friend's houses and exploring the woods even though you were told not to go there (sorry mom). You either didn't have a cell phone at all or got one once you hit middle school because your parents wanted you to have one "in case of an emergency".
As a child, my parents were parents. I was grounded when I messed up or disrespected them, I was given boundaries, I was taught to respect my elders and to say please and thank you, always. My parents would remove me or my sisters from a restaurant or grocery store if we were making a scene, regardless if they were in the middle of shopping or their meal. They would tell us to go to our rooms. They would even listen to us scream for what felt like forever until we got bored and realized that screaming got us nowhere, and would fall asleep. My parents were honestly my heroes for disciplining me because they taught me how to be a respectful person.
Nowadays, I just don't see that happening.
I never see kids playing outside anymore. I don’t see little girls drawing with chalk on their driveways all day, or walking down the street towards the park with their best friends. I don’t see boys on their bikes or scooters, or outside playing pretend games where they are warriors in the middle of some huge unseen battle. This is saddening to me. I learned so many great life lessons through my playscape and backyard. I learned how to use my imagination and entertain myself.
What I do see, are children as young as the age of two with cell phones or tablets in their faces. Restaurants are quiet when the child at the table is playing a game on their tablet. When it's not quiet, it's because the child is screaming and the parent is doing nothing about it. I see kids growing up feeling entitled to whatever they want. I see twelve-year-old's on social media idolizing people they shouldn’t and bullying others. I see thirteen-year-old girls thinking they need to portray themselves as “sexy” and young boys being interested in things way beyond their years. Parents, I understand. Parenting your child in this day and age is truly tough. They are disrespectful, antisocial, and very difficult to understand.
I wonder how that happened.
By giving your child a phone to play with at the age of two, you are preconditioning them to rely on that as a source of entertainment. You are exposing them to see and experience things that they shouldn’t. You are creating an antisocial child, a child who will have no sense of reality and a child who doesn’t know how to be bored. Parents, you are teaching your children not to think for themselves. Your child will never know who they truly are because they will be exposed to and influenced by the media at such a young age. In the end, all you are doing is hurting yourself and your son or daughter.
No, I am not a parent. I don’t understand your situation because I am not in your shoes. However, I know how to raise my future children because of the style in which my parents raised me. If your child is being disrespectful in the grocery store, take them out to the car and tell them they’re going home unless they stop. Don’t give into demands or screaming just because that's the easy way out. Don’t shove a phone in their face to keep them quiet.Shoving a screen in your child’s face is lazy. It reads to everyone around you that you don’t care. That you don’t feel like parenting. You don’t have the willpower to remove your child from a situation, or punish them for bad behavior because that’s too difficult, or it will make them madder (I’m sorry, who is the parent here??). Start teaching your children now, spend time with them, love them, nurture them. I can guarantee they will be a much better person later down the road if you actually care about them.
So millennials, let’s be the generation that doesn’t allow our daughters to buy contour kits at thirteen. Let’s be the generation that doesn’t allow our sons to think they are cool when they hurt people’s feelings, or break someone's heart. Let’s be the generation that parents again. And let's not give our children phones from the moment they are birthed to conform them and ruin their imagination and creativity. We should agree to be the generation that spreads positivity, love and hope. Let’s be the next generation to get our kids playing outside again.