A lot of people ask me "how do you handle the tough parts of a military relationship?" Lots and lots of patience.
The distance can play a big factor in built up anger, but it isn't always the main reason you get frustrated or mad, sometimes it's because you simply miss your soldier. Even I show signs of irritation when I miss my soldier, and I know I am not the only one. These days can be very overwhelming, especially if you are in a college military relationship. Not only do your classes stress you out to the max because the work seems endless, but you also might have a job to deal with, and it can feel like a heavy weight onto your emotional state. You might find yourself getting bothered because your soldier is missing events that are somewhat important to you, and sometimes you get bothered because you can't make the events that are important to him.
This lifestyle takes sacrifice, it doesn't even have to be the big things, it includes the little things, too.
Plus, I recommend that you "pick your battles." Sometimes you have to realize not every disagreement, problem, or argument is worth fighting over unless a problem completely oversteps the boundaries in your relationship. Communication is actually key, and when you are in a military relationship, you aren't always granted the privilege of talking to your soldier whenever you want. So when you can talk, make it worth it. Always give more love than anger because when you don't hear from him for a while, the last thing you want to feel is that regret from when you said a few words you didn't mean.
It is also good to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place because then it becomes easier for you to forgive them if something really does bother you. Since your soldier is away, try not to grow resentment towards him because he is going through things that are super stressful and strenuous compared to the everyday human. Instead of interrogating him about things that bother you and possibly overreacting, step back and analyze yourself and ask yourself what have you possibly done to make his day better, and what can you improve on.
I know no one likes to be wrong about things, but no one's perfect and I guarantee there is something you could have done better during a time of an emotional need. Even if it's just sending a sweet message or letter reminding them of how much they mean to you, I'm sure that would possibly brighten their day, and your soldier could do the same for you, honestly.
I just know that no one should let miscommunication or microscopic problems cloud their judgment, and they shouldn't let extremely childish actions take place in the relationship. To make it in a military relationship, you have to be more selfless than selfish and willing to sacrifice things you never thought about sacrificing. You must have an understanding of why you must accept the fact that things might not always go to plan, and yet again, always try to stay patient.
In the end, every temporary obstacle you have had to face will somehow vanish when u see your soldier and you will remember why every last bit this lifestyle and your relationship is worth it.
