There's something about turning 40 that makes you reevaluate your life. A lot. With that comes the raw feeling of knowing you've already lived half of your life. Wait, what? HALF. What about all the stuff you meant to do, but never really got around to? Because you were busy keeping house and raising kids and working and having meetings with your 8-year-old son's principal because he put gum in another kid's hair or some other kind of inappropriate offense. As you come out of the haze of your daydream, you become acutely aware that you are surrounded by three drab gray "walls" that would surely fall over with a nice, swift kick. Your computer is right in front of you, the same place you left it, waiting patiently for someone to tell it what to do. The office phone starts to ring. And so goes the repetitious cycle. Suddenly, the lyrics to "Once in a lifetime" by the Talking Heads become a reality. "This is not my beautiful house, This is not my beautiful wife. It all makes sense. Now all that you have to do is to decide whether to suck it up and take the nice retirement package at the end of your miserable 20 years or you can take the risk of investing in yourself and changing your situation. Think of it as a home remodel of sorts. With bigger risks. Me? I decided to change my situation. Or attempt to.

Even at 40, navigating the college circuit isn't some well-defined trip down candy lane. It's confusing and monotonous and way more time consuming than you thought it would be and soooooo not like high school (which, for the record, was 23 years ago. It's estimated we lose about 9,000 brain cells a day, you do the math. Coincidentally, it was in high school that I found math was really not my forte. I digress...). It's kind of like walking face-first into a spiderweb — I never really had a role model, support system, or an advisor per se. This was all brand new to me. I think I may have signed away my first born child. I guess I'll find out when I graduate.

This journey is not for the faint of heart. I can't even count the times I was cursing under my breath when my "learning team" disappeared and I ended up doing team assignments by myself. The ones that did show up were always a little bit "off". One guy accused us of excluding him because he lived in Alaska (he must have done too much math). If I wanted to go on vacation, I had to pack 2 weeks worth of work into 1. Funny, the only time I ever took a vacation during school is when I was in Algebra II. Again, with the math. I think it's stalking me. Days upon days are spent writing papers. I always found that, by some miracle, my phone would start ringing non-stop the day before a big assignment was due. It sensed my fear.

I learned very early on that one needs a pretty firm grasp on spreadsheets and word docs. PowerPoint is a plus too, but don't worry. If you don't know it, you will learn the hard way relatively quickly. Before you know it (actually, you'll know it very well because you will be counting the milliseconds and praying to sweet baby Jesus to see the light at the end of the tunnel) graduation day comes. And for most, it's a pretty proud day. That is the day that I decided I wanted a hood. (Author's note: Never, and when I say never, I mean NEVER make a major decision when your emotions are all over the place. Kind of like not going to the grocery store when you're hungry. Dangerous).

So now here I am in my third semester of my grad program. My first semester, I tried to take three classes. I took two at a time in my undergrad, no big deal, right? It's only a few more credits. WRONG. I failed one and barely passed the other two and that was with the help of tutors. I've never failed anything in my whole entire life and graduated my undergrad with honors! I was put on academic probation after one semester in my grad program. (I retook the class the next semester and passed with an A). Let me tell you something. If you decide to enter a graduate program, do not under any circumstances, think it's going to be anything like your undergrad. You will have made what might be the biggest mistake of your life. I can assure you, its not. You better clear your calendar and forget about any kind of social life you planned on having. I do not kid. I literally just took a 12-page test in Statistics. It took me 22 hours. It's no joke. But I'm also no quitter. I sorely underestimated what it takes to get through a masters program, especially one online, and especially with no support system.

If you're planning on entering one, do your homework. Know that the workload is three times anything you've ever experienced. Don't pile up the courses because you're not doing yourself any favors if you do. You won't finish faster. It will take you more time if you ultimately fail a course due to an overwhelming workload. If you need the help, ASK for it. All professors are different in how they operate their classes. Find a tutor. Online courses don't offer much in the way of tutoring. I've been using Wyzant. And most of all, don't get discouraged. Reduce your course load to one at a time if you have to. In the end, you'll eventually make it. Taking longer to achieve your goal is way better than not making an attempt to achieve it at all.