#MeToo

Sexual assault has become such a huge epidemic the past few recent years. However, most recently there have been jokes made about certain sexual assaults. People saying they aren’t assaults, people saying they’re asking for it and people saying the assaults were consensual put victims at risk for being invalidated.

I’m sick and tired of hearing stories and people putting these stories to rest like they’re not even true. So here’s my #metoo story.

View with caution: Contains graphic descriptions of a sexual assault.

It was the summer of my 8th-grade year and I had just finished middle school. I had barely had my first kiss when I went to hang out with a girl I was close with and her friend who worked at this store near her house. It wasn’t busy and we kind of just hung out there.

When he was off work we stopped by his house and grabbed his weed and pick up two of his other friends. We ended up walking to the woods and just hanging out by the water. It was pretty. We were all smoking and it was nice.

My friend (let’s call her Abby) had started kissing one of the other boys and they disappeared into the woods. I was left there with two males I didn’t know. Both a couple years older than me at least. I don’t remember much but I remember the first boy (let’s call him Matt) asking me to suck his penis. When I told him no he looked at the other boy that was there (let’s call him Cody) and gestured towards me.

Cody grabbed both my hands and tied them together with his belt while Matt covered my mouth so no one could hear me. Although I didn’t know where Abby was and I wasn’t sure if she could hear me at all. I just remember screaming and starting to cry. He forced his penis in my mouth multiple times, touched and squeezed my breasts, and roughly pulled on my hair and pushed on my head.

I just wanted it to be over. I just wanted to go home. He ejaculated in my mouth and I was finally let go. Embarrassed by what just happened, after crying it out near the river, I finally found Abby and asked her if we could just head back to her house. I was supposed to sleep over her house. I just ended up going home.

I was 14 when that happened. It’s been 5 years and I still have nightmares about it sometimes. Don’t tell me that I wasn’t a victim. Don’t invalidate my story. Don’t tell me that I could’ve stopped it. I was scared.

There were two older males there that easily could’ve hurt me if they wanted to. Yes, they took advantage of me. Yes, he forced himself on me. Yes, this was a sexual assault and I don’t care what you think it is.

This is my #metoo story. Because guess what, I was a victim of sexual assault, but now I’m a survivor and I’m here to make sure every other survivor knows they’re not alone. I’m with you baby. I know they hurt you. They hurt me too.