I don’t like saying this, because it sounds like I’m playing a screeching violin of self-pity, but I did not have a lot of friends growing up. For the most part, people were nice to me and I sometimes could find people to sit with at lunch. But I also did not get invited to birthday parties or to hang out after school.
Maybe, if I talked to anyone who knew me back then, they might remember things differently than I do. Regardless, I did not meet my real best friend until college.
When I started college, I wanted to make friends, but I was still nervous. I had been disappointed by so many potential friends in the past, been walked over one too many times, that I had put up walls. Throughout the summer before freshman year, I visited the Curry College Class of 2016 Facebook page almost daily. I was bored one day and randomly posted a video of my dog with my crappy web cam. An animal lover, my best friend responded to that video and we got to talk through Facebook.
We met in person the first time the Welcome Weekend Curry College held for the incoming freshman. The first thing I noticed about her — what many people likely first notice about her — is that she is short. But her personality is twice her size, taking up space in whatever room she is in. She invited me to sit with her and the group she was with, and that was the first step.
We texted. We ate meals together. We found out we had things in common, such as we both repeated the first grade. We shared stories about our lives. She introduced me to other people on campus that weren’t in any of my classes or in my dorm building. By the end of first semester, we knew we had to be roommates the following year. And we were roommates, in both sophomore and junior years.
Now, five years later, though we have not physically seen each other in over a year, we still talk at least three or four times a week. I know I can go to her for anything and vice versa. Have we fought in the past? Sure. Friends do that, because friends are human beings and they make stupid decisions and say stupid things.
But the difference I have learned between high school best friends and college best friends (actually, some groups of friends in general) is the level of maturity in communication. When we had a problem, we talked it out. We solved the problem together. We didn’t shut the other person out.
My best friend—as well as my other friends I consider part of my inner circle — came into my life right when I needed them. I didn’t meet them until I was in my twenties, but they were worth waiting for.
