"At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child's success is the positive involvement of parents." ~ Jane D. Hull
Whether they want to admit it or not, teenagers need a positive parental figure in their life. Whether you ask them how their day was, encourage them to do their homework, or simply take the time to eat a meal with them; the time you spend positively influencing them is crucial. Research shows that students with parents who are positive influences do better academically, socially, and have more motivation to get involved in their community. Yes- it is very possible to achieve greatness without the necessary parental figures. I grew up without a constant father figure and I think I turned out okay! However, I want to live in a community where those stereotypes don't have to be broken. A society where parents step up to the plate and are involved the their teenagers development.
I had the privilege of joining my youth group a couple of weeks ago at a summer camp where I lead a cabin of junior highers. One of the bigger points that stood out to me at that camp was the idea of our God being a GOOD father. A Father who wants to give you your hearts desires, who wants to be in relationship with you, who wants to to draw near to Him- because he is a good Father. I would look at my girls during the message at points and pray that they were going home to families who give them their best. And thankfully, that was the case for most of them. I have seen many of our youth broken-hearted because they don't have that loving parent figure. Honestly, I want this generation to be the LAST generation that ever has to feel this pain.
Be persistent.
You went through it and they are too - the changes that come with the glorious teen years. Yes, they are a walking bad attitude. Sometimes it's even hard to want to talk to them. In those moments, let your actions remind them that they are loved unconditionally. Ask them how their day was. They may blow you off, but at some point they will realize you really do care. Make them sit with you at dinner. They may seem miserable at the time, but they will soon realize that you truly do want them around. Plan family days regularly. Remind them that they always have people to turn back to when they feel like there is no one else.
Encourage them.
A lot of teenagers today are being taught what NOT to do. This pessimism only causes them to rely on what they know is bad and it doesn't help show them that there is really more good than they think. Tell them they look good in their outfit you know they struggled to put together. When they get a haircut they feel hesitant to show off, remind them their smile and kind heart is reflected no matter how they feel their hair looks. When they lose a game of football, talk about the great plays they had. Sometimes "oh, you'll do better next time" or "it's just hair, it'll grow back" do more harm than good. Encourage them by telling them they are great just as they are.
Be there.
When they look in the stands, make sure you're there for them to wave at. When they come home with a perfect test score, make sure you're there to congratulate them and tell them you're proud. When it seems like their world is falling apart, be there to help hold them together. Leave them a note before they leave in the mornings. Have them text you when they get home so they know you want to know they're safe. Be a constant and love them no matter what. Make sure they know you are standing WITH them and FOR them.
You play a huge role in their life. Make sure they know you want it.
"He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect." ~ 1 Timothy 3:4 (NIV)
