I look in the mirror and I’m trying to find the crazy. Becoming a doctor is some kind of big and out of reach dream they talk about in elementary school. You talk about what you want to be when you grow up and the list is: police officer, firefighter, lawyer, astronaut, doctor. Those were the cool jobs and those were the things that your parents wanted you to become (or marry). It’s weird to think I took this path. It’s even weirder to me that at one point I was in a nursing program. We’re all ashamed of what we first started out as in college because it wasn’t the total badass curriculum of becoming a doctor. Total badass being defined as nerve wrecking, heart crushing, brain smushing, anxiety riddled medical school prerequisites. To be completely honest, I love science. I can’t imagine doing anything else with my brain and the joy I get from tinkering with chemicals and cell delights the small child of my soul. BUT, this is hard. And I mean really, really, really hard. Nobody talks about this is high school. Nobody tells you that you’re going to be up at 4am, after studying for 15 hours already, to pass a general chemistry II test (and this is your third time taking the class) because you really need this A to get out of your cyclic feeling of fuck ups. There is always the dreaded emotional breakdown once a semester that definitely makes you rethink your choice once again and hoping that you don’t flunk out of college altogether. But there is also nothing better than telling people that you are studying to be a doctor because people think you’re a complete madman AND one of the most intelligent beings on the planet. If you’re anything like me, those people are also hoping that they aren’t stuck under your knife one day either because they have seen you at 1am, practicing mattress stitches on a piece of synthetic skin in your dorm room before you even stepped foot in a medical school. I, for one, think those people should feel blessed to be under my knife because clearly I am dedicated and my mattress stitches are perfect every time.
Guys and gals, let us not forget the real reason we are doing this: for the love of medicine. These next 15 years are going to be the best of our adult lives as we take on these patients and learn everything and anything there is to know about being the best damn doctors around. Let us not forget how hard we worked to get here. We got those undergraduate degrees, some of us are going to have master’s and phD degrees too! Those hundreds of hours we spent volunteering and shadowing and studying are going to pay off in the long run. We are going to be doctors! And if you just happen to change your mind, we still love you!
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We are on the very frontier of advancements in technology and medicine as we know it. One of us is going to cure cancer or find the vaccine for Zika or whatever hefty virus comes at us next. Never give up. Some of us are continuing the legacy of family doctors and some of us (like me!) and becoming the first doctor in our families. Some of us come from wealth and some of us are from poverty. Some of us are applying for the first time and some of us are on our fifth try. We want this, we know we do. When that acceptance letter comes through, the tears are going to flow and you did it! You really did it! Never give up. We are in this together and we are going to be the best, most innovative doctors this planet has ever seen.
