All up and down my newsfeed, I see celebratory selfies and statuses of soon-to-be college graduates for Fall 2016. Yes, the painstaking hours of studying, compiling theses and research papers have finally ended, but is it really time to relax? Those that graduated in the Spring are just now making their first loan payment! Christmas is soon to come. Not to mention bratty family members will also visit, and often times significant others, will have nothing but expensive items on their Christmas wish list. Our wallets are sure to lose weight this holiday season. Oh, joy to the world!
However, I don’t want to put a damper on your big day. YOU GRADUATED! That is huge! Most people don’t even make it into the position you’re in. They don’t put up with the all-nighters, the monotonous professors, or the lazy classmates that leave you to do the entire group project and get just as much credit as you. Most people don’t make it to their second year of college because they are just too mentally weak to put up with the stress. Others choose another route - one just as respectable - and start a family. So kudos to you - you Master/Mistress of the Universe you! I sure hope you did your homework on the post grad life while you were downin’ those shots of Tequila during Halloween weekend and in between hookups at the Sig Ep ragers. It’s not all teddy bears and gumdrops on this end. There are bills to pay, and sadly there is no FAFSA refund to look forward to every 6 months anymore. Personally, I cannot begin to fathom what it must feel like to be anything over $10K in debt from student loans (I may have done some careful financial planning during my undergrad. Don’t hate). For those that have a substantial amount of debt during what is supposed to be one of the first milestones in your adult life, have you ever considered what you'd be willing to trade in order to just make all that go away? I’m talking ABSOLUTE ZERO debts once you pull that tassle to the other side. Obviously it doesn’t work that way, but, I can think of a few things I’d do to make that a possibility.
- No Hot Cheetos for 10 years.
- Being bald until I’m married (mind you - my hair is the length of a Greek goddess’)
- Reenacting “Naked and Afraid” but ONLY for 2 weeks.
- Kissing 10 homeless men (and immediately shower)
- No Christmas or Birthday presents for 8 YEARS.
- Actually giving BACK the degree. (Especially for those who have pointless majors- i.e. Poetry. No offense)
Of course, those of you that just finished taking the stage this weekend, don’t worry about that now. You can panic after the new year. Right now - your only priority should be family and scoping out the hotties in the room as you wear your hanging-mistletoe headband. Happy Holidays and once again - CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2016!