Oh, Superbowl Season. For the die-hard football followers, this is an annual event that can't be missed. It's tradition. It's a holiday. Who cares if it runs really late? This is history in the making! And then there are people like me. I don't care about football at all. I'm more into baseball and the World Series, but I do usually make a point to sit down with others to watch this game –– even though I don't really care about it, at all. It's fun being around people who do care about it, though, and the Superbowl parties are always a big hit. Food, commercials, half-time show –– there really is something for everybody to enjoy.
Here are 10 types of people you'll most likely see at a Superbowl party:
1. The people that yell. A lot.
Do you want me to tell these people that the teams can't really hear them? Or that yelling every couple of minutes is slightly annoying? Or that they can't actually change the course of the game despite how much they're personally invested in it? Maybe I better not.
2. The people that yell along with the people yelling even though they don't actually know what's going on.
Yeah, we noticed. Y'all are usually the ones who join in three seconds after the rest of the group. Maybe facial expressions would have a better impact for you. Look distressed. Look delighted. Look constipated. Whatever works for you. But this just makes you annoying.
3. The people who show up with their significant others and try to pass off acting like they know what's going on.
Please just don't. Be like me. Be honest about how much you just don't care. It will save you a lot of effort and us a lot of hateful feelings about you.
4. The people that want to start fights and argue about every little penalty.
Why would you go to a party when you know people will be rooting against your team? Forrest Gump said it best when he quoted his Mama: "Stupid is as stupid does." I'm not necessarily saying that you're stupid, but getting mad about something that you knew was going to happen is up there with thinking that Donald Trump would be a good president.
5. The people who are only truly around to watch the commercials.
This is me. This is me 100 percent, and I don't even have to deny it. People like us get so excited when the game takes a small break and we finally get the chance to watch the clever commercials. It is what it is, right?
6. The people that shouldn't be bothered. Ever.
These are the people who concentrate a little too much. Why so serious? Well? I wouldn't know. But maybe it's the same as when I watch "Grey's Anatomy." I need to focus. Every little thing matters and has significance. I guess football can be the same for some people, right?
7. The people who only show up to get drunk.
You know who you are. I know who you are. We all know who you are. But it's OK. 'Tis the season to be a little boozed up, right? Have a plan to get home, though. That's all we ask!
8. The people who mainly show up for the food.
OK. In their defense, Superbowl Party food is pretty darn great. Wings, pizza, buffalo chicken dip, nachos, mini corn dogs, etc. Of course it's a highlight of the party, and if you deny that then you're only lying to yourself. Because this is what dreams are made of.
9. The people who attend multiple parties.
Maybe it's just me, but I find this rude. Just choose a party and stick to it. How hard could that be? Is our party not exciting enough? Or did you just want to party hop for all of the food options? I don't know. But we do notice when you leave. And show up again. And then leave again.
10. The people who are around to, well, just be around.
Chances are, I will find your cat. And I will make it my mission for them to love me more than they love you. It's just what I do. Maybe I'm not a fan of the Superbowl or football or any fanatic behavior, but of course I want to be around to experience it and to hang out with friends. And your cat.
