Bonjour. C’est moi.
I have a story for you.
Grandpa once invited me to consider adapting a philosophy of his. Everything he did was aimed at making his mother proud, and although she passed away eons ago, she remained his unwavering inspiration. We were three weeks shy of my departure date back to Ohio for college. He wanted to bestow his knowledge onto me in every way so moments like this between us were characteristic of our friendship. He told me that a solid way of assuring myself that I make decisions with my best interest in mind is to delegate one person that I adore most and keep them in my thoughts whenever predicaments arose. He insisted that I center my choices around the person I have the most respect for because it will lead me to act in ways that would continue to shape me into a well-rounded person. He suggested I sleep on the matter and be sure that I select wisely.
Oh Jim, you goofy goober.
Think about a human being that I admire more than anything?
I knew who this person was for me without blinking an eye.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
There is absolutely nobody on this little blue planet that I appreciate more than you.
You said toodle loo to a dumb dude to whom you were once married and tackled the challenge of raising three very different children all by yourself. Kudos for that one. Maybe it’s the all-girls high school education in me – thank you for that too – but who needs men, am I right or am I right? I hope you never forget that he was not a loss. You are a bright star who outshines so many around you and he was merely a raincloud that covered up your natural glow. I mean now you get two days of celebration – both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day – so really, who is the real winner here? You, of course! Independence and resilience were always your thing. Thank you for always reminding my sisters and me that a spouse is a happy addition to life, but being with someone is not a necessity nor does it define our worth. A partner is not a prerequisite for overall life satisfaction.
I tend to have a way with words and yet I cannot seem figure out how to tell you just how thankful I am to have been your child…as hard as that may have been for you. I’m sure the two of us could agree that I am sometimes a nutcase. Remember when I called you because I couldn’t peel my banana and it caused a meltdown? It was the icing on the cake of an already exhausting week of nonstop exams and papers that seemed to be due on the same day. You talked to me for a few hours until that godforsaken piece of fruit slipped my mind. The memory I hold most dear is the day you went above and beyond for me. You flew across the country overnight to be with me because I was unwell. Whenever I need you, there you are, arms open and love pouring out from every inch of you. I know I don’t always make sense and could probably be classified as the most puzzling kiddo to grace the earth, but thank you for trying to understand me anyway. From soccer games, to art school exhibitions, and ballet recitals, you were always front row, supporting my sisters and I through everything, and I can't thank you enough.
I know I complained that NPR was always playing on the radio, but now that we don't live together and it’s not constantly echoing in the background, I catch myself missing it. I butchered my French around you because I had some undying desire to push your buttons some days but please know that I am oh so grateful to have a French-speaking parent…especially during my high school days and the nights of cramming for French exams. I know you think tattoos are the dumbest thing in the whole wide world, but I didn’t get tu es très bellein your handwriting permanently inked into my forearm just because. I just wanted a piece of you to stay with me forever.
Thank you for instilling the most wonderful of values in me. You taught me that being proactive is the answer to alleviating stress, no questions asked…but doodling in coloring books always helps, too. You reminded me that a few deep breaths and an extra shot of espresso in my cappuccino is the cure to any stressful study session. The soft, selfless, quick-witted goofball I am today is your doing. It never ceases to amaze me that you have accomplished so much. Nothing stands in your way. You are your own boss, managing your own incredibly successful law firm, and that’s something I hope to be, too.
I am adamant about being my own person, as you know, but if I end up becoming the spitting image of you, I wouldn’t complain. You embody so many admirable traits and I wouldn’t mind following in your footsteps if it means I become even half of the woman that you are today.
Merci beaucoup, a thousand times over, for everything. Je vous-aime, toujours et à jamais. When I enter the big kid world and have a profession that pays well, the first trip I plan to take you on is to Paris. Hope you're ready, Freddy.
XOXO,
Your favorite kiddo, wink wink, nudge nudge.