Mental Illness Is A Monster I Live With | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health Wellness

Mental Illness Is A Monster, But I'm Glad I'm With A Monster Hunter

There's no need to romanticize mental illness because it's a monster.

244
Mental Illness Is A Monster, But I'm Glad I'm With A Monster Hunter
Callaghan Carter

I am blessed to have the chemical imbalance that movies, tv shows, and other articles romanticize…there's no need to romanticize mental illness because it's a monster.

This past week I have been depressed when really nothing has happened. My boyfriend started a new job leaving a toxic environment and I was happy for him for a couple of hours, and then I felt numb again. My room is currently a mess, I've either eaten too much or skipped meals, and drag myself out of bed to go to class and when I'm back in my dorm room, I climb back into bed. And that's been my weekly routine so far.

Mental illness is hard on not just the person with mental illness, but it's also hard on the person you're in a relationship with. I don't know how he does it, I honestly feel like my depression makes him depressed at times, and I know I'm exhausting. Being reminded to eat, to drink water, to push through and do homework. It's like taking care of a child at times, but I need the reminders sometimes.

Callaghan Carter

I find my mental illness embarrassing at times.

Like once we were at his dad's and I had a full-fledged anxiety attack in the middle of a conversation, and it was out of nowhere. I walked out of the room and into the bedroom and squished myself between the wall and the bed with the window open trying to fill my lungs with air. I was starting to hyperventilate, and I was crying because I was so embarrassed. My boyfriend, Ethan, came and sat with me and asked if I needed anything, and when I did he brought me a glass of water.

Walking back into the room after was really embarrassing because his dad apologized if it was something he caused. Some of it was (as I look back now), but if I didn't have mental illness my reaction wouldn't have been that severe.

I feel bad when my boyfriend says he'll try to cheer me up because he's the only one who can when I'm really depressed. Cat and dog pics only do so much. I need to be held, I need physical contact. I need someone to tell me I'm okay and I'm not a burden. Because right now, I feel like a really big burden. Not just me, but the baggage that comes with me. My depression and anxiety are a lot for me, and I can only imagine how it is on him.

I'm scared to live with him. I'm scared for him to see me on these bad days. I'm scared for him to see me being "lazy" (what some people call it) but for me, I'm so exhausted emotionally and mentally I can't do simple tasks. I don't want him to think I'm too much.

These are the days I wish I didn't deal with this monster every single day. I wish I could be in a relationship and do normal things like going to a party or hanging out with family without having an anxiety attack. I am so thankful for the relationship I have with my boyfriend, and on the bad days, I have to think that my mental illness has only made us closer in the end, and I am blessed to have a monster hunter by my side.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

196039
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

18353
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

460480
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

28098
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments