I can't pin-point the moment my depression first started, but I can remember the moment I realized I was depressed. I had been told just a couple months before that I was flagged for having high signs of depression, but it wasn't until one night in the car with my best friends that it really hit me. It wasn't until one month later when I was up until 5am crying uncontrollably, and over nothing, that I realized I needed help. This is real depression, not your aesthetic.
In 2015, nearly 16.1 million adults in The US had a major depressive episode (which lasts 2 weeks or longer). That doesn't seem like too terribly much considering the population of the United States, but chances are, you know somebody who has depression. Depression is one hell of an illness. Its most common symptoms include irritability, feeling of hopelessness, lack of energy, changes in sleep patterns, and loss of interest. Everybody's symptoms are different, and depression does not affect any two people in the same exact ways.
It took a long time to understand, but once I connected my symptoms to depression, it all made sense. I didn't nap every day because I was just tired, I was depressed. I lost interest in drawing and writing, I was irritated constantly, and I had little control over my emotions. While my symptoms are not as strong as they once were, I still get depressive episodes, and it never gets easier when they come around.
The thing about depression, is that it can eat you alive. It stops you in your tracks some days and it's hard to get back going. It's literally fighting against yourself, and that's the hardest battle you may ever fight. It's so draining. By that, I mean that it drains you before you realize it's happening. And once you get yourself back on track, things still feel like an endless struggle.
For some reason though, people want to use depression as a fashion statement. Some people say their occasional sadness over normal, sad things is "depression." People try to make sad an aesthetic. They're taking aesthetically pleasing things and adding on the word "sad" and calling that depression. Those who are of perfect mental health, who do not have depression, do not realize that calling yourself "sad", making pouty faces in selfies, and wearing dark, trendy outfits does not make you "depressed." Having an interest in sad or dark movies, music, and literature does not make you "depressed." Mental illness is not a trend.
(found by Google searching "sad aesthetic," a perfect example of the trend)
Everybody should care for their mental health. It's important to check for signs of a mental illness and care for it, and yourself, properly. I know when things are bad, and I really have to push myself to get things done on a daily basis. I watch out for myself because only I know how my depression works and what I feel. I know my own pain, but I also understand the pain of others who live with depression. It's upsetting to know people want to fake such a serious, controlling illness or make it into a fashion statement. Depression is real and difficult. It's not Instagram posts and Lana Del Rey songs. It's painful; So stop making my pain seem painless.
Visit the National Institute of Mental Health website to learn more about depression and its signs, and also learn about other mental illnesses.
