In my 18 years of life I’ve only been in one relationship but I can honestly say that it has brought me more happiness than anything else I’ve ever experienced. Now don't get me wrong, its brought a ton of other emotions: fear, doubt, pain—the usual emotions that come along with finding love. However, deep down, I know I’ve found my soulmate; knowing that is what makes all the difficult times worth it. My soulmate happens to be another woman. At the very beginning of the relationship I struggled a lot with this simple fact. I had always thought that my soulmate absolutely had to be a man. It was difficult for me to accept the fact that I had fallen for another woman; I tried my absolute best to change my emotions towards her. For a long time I hid behind drunken words or actions, and refused to believe that this was happening to me. As if it was some sort of misfortune that I needed to overcome. I tried time and again to convince myself that I was only going through a phase or that I was confused. This way of thinking was seriously harming my mental stability and I didn't even know it. Often times my depression would be worsened or triggered by my confusion and struggle with my sexuality. The idea that I was attracted to a woman also somehow convinced me that I needed to try harder to get a man’s approval; this worsened my bulimia. Unknowingly, my inability to accept my own sexuality was causing major problems with my already serious mental health problems. After months of break ups, reconciliations, tears, high points, and low points, I finally accepted my own sexuality and allowed myself to find happiness with another person—regardless of their gender. While this acceptance definitely aided in my search for happiness and healing, I still felt like something was missing. I knew I needed to tell my family. Anyone who knows me knows its pretty obvious that I’m not completely straight; my family members and close friends definitely knew. I decided to take a leap of faith and come out to the loved ones in my life. Initially I was terrified. Coming from a hispanic, very devout catholic family, I worried whether or not I would be accepted by my family. Luckily, I was blessed with a loving and accepting family. As soon as I told my dad, I felt a huge load come off my shoulders. Within a few minutes we were cracking jokes and messing around and things felt great. It’s been a journey but luckily I’ve been able to come to accept my sexuality as a part of who I am. I’ve found an incredible, beautiful person that I truly believe to be my soulmate and feel supported and loved by my family in regard to this. Though I am blessed with incredible people in my life, countless people across the globe aren't as fortunate. According to NAMI, the National Association for Mental Illness, LGBTQ individuals are three times more likely to suffer from some sort of mental health condition. Whether its depression or an anxiety disorder, people struggling with their sexuality are at a higher risk of experiencing difficulties in regard to mental health. Our society today is becoming more open and accepting of people, regardless of sexual orientation, but that doesn't change the stigma that still exists. Go onto any high school campus and I can guarantee you will hear the word “gay” being used as an insult or a joke at least once. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for jokes and believe sometimes humor can be the best medicine, but when someone is struggling with their sexuality and they hear the word they most identify with being used as an insult, they can become even less secure with what they are experiencing. At an already confusing and difficult point in life, the last thing anyone needs is a joke about or invalidation of the emotions being experienced. For LGBTQ youth between the ages of 10 and 24, suicide is the leading cause of death. So many people see being gay or bi as a worst case scenario. They fear being outcast from their families or from society and may see suicide as the only option. The kind of fear that comes along with questioning sexuality can lead to serious complications with mental health. Depression, substance abuse, isolation, etc, can all be triggered by the fear that comes along with questioning sexuality. As human beings one of the most beautiful things we can provide is love. Whether you're gay, straight, bi, asexual, or anything else, its important to remember that you always have someone who loves and supports you, regardless of what you may think. As cliche as it sounds, simply spreading love and acceptance into the world can make a world of difference. So many of us could be healthier mentally and physically if we both experienced and spread the amount of love that we each deserve. I encourage you to remember the incredible impact a simple smile or a warm hug can have on a person’s life and go out of your way to make even the tiniest difference. Mental health is a constant battle, but if there is even one day that lightens the load or makes you feel that life is worth living, it makes the rest of the journey feel a little bit more doable.
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As an English Major in college, I have a lot of writing and especially creative writing pieces that I work on throughout the semester and sometimes, I'll find it hard to get the motivation to type a few pages and the thought process that goes behind it. These are eleven thoughts that I have as a writer while writing my stories.
1. Man! This character would be cool! I'm writing fast now!
2. Man, so many plot points to hit, so many things to do...oh! I should look up references pictures!
3. I guess I could take a break and get some other homework done...
4. Ha, just kidding, back to the writing grind!
5. Well, I don't want cheesy romance, it can't be uncomfortable like 50 Shades of Grey, painful like Twilight but faint and fake like Katniss & Peeta...hmmm.
6. God, Katniss should've been with Gale, the chemistry was there.
7. Back to typing
8. I've gotten three lines written out, I need a pee break
9. ...And maybe a snack
10. Now I'm rereading these lines and they're shit...
11. Guess I'm start again tomorrow.
13 Times April Ludgate Perfectly Explained College
Because who understands your bitterness better than April?
Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.
1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.
Let's cut the small talk and skip ahead to the part where you let us leave.
2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.
All of your talking broke my brain. I hope you're proud.
3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.
Not all heroes wear capes; some wear sweats and the same shirt they slept in the night before.
4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.
Where's the part where I get to sleep?
5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...
It's probably best to forget that this day ever existed and repeat this coping method once you get your grade back.
6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.
No need to drown your sorrows after all.
7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.
Is it too late to drop out and work your way up in the fast food industry?
8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.
Normal humans should not be able to survive on this minimal amount of sleep.
9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.
If I have to pretend that one more of your corny jokes is funny, I just might barf.
10. When you're assigned a group project.
I hardly want to be in the same room with most of these people, let alone depend on them to help me pass this class.
11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.
The only reason I'm talking to you is because I have to. I had no say in the matter.
12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.
Oh, sweet freedom, how I have missed your warm embrace!
13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.
I'm way too broke for this life.
While the struggle is so intense that it tends to bring out the dark side in all of us, just remember that the pain is temporary. Also, remember that you probably won't see most of these people again after you graduate, so that's always nice.
For many undergraduates across the nation, the home stretch has begun. Only one more semester remains in our undergraduate career. Oh, the places we will go! For the majority of college seniors, this is simultaneously the best and worst year out of the past four and here’s why.
1. The classes you are taking are actually difficult.
A schedule full of easy pottery throwing and film courses is merely a myth on the average campus. With all of those
2. You probably have a fancy internship somewhere.
A staple of any undergraduate resume is the internship experience. By senior year, you finally have the necessary course work and experience to land a position at your dream company. If you are like me, in the humanities, then that also means long hours worked each week with no form of compensation. It is not all about the
3. You and your pals are all of a legal age to drink (even the late bloomers).
You have finally reached the point in your academic career when you and all your friends are legal and can venture away from campus to participate in those late night shenanigans. Chicago is unquestionably a perfect place to do so -- Wrigleyville, Boystown, River North, the possibilities are bountiful. But alas, recall that you are strapped for cash, and time with your internship, and course load and sometimes taking advantage of all Chicago has to offer gets pushed behind your other responsibilities. Never fear, even though you may not be the party animal you used to be, it is always comforting to know that you can go buy a bottle of wine to enjoy at home with friends while writing that long term paper for class.
4. The future... what is that?
You used to relish all of the academic breaks for the chance to head home and see your family. Free food and laundry, oh my! Now, every time you head to those large family gatherings in celebration of the holidays, you are plagued by questions of your future. Where are you heading next? Any plans? Do you have a job yet? For many of us, our plans are still uncertain and not being able to respond only stresses us out more. So thanks, we appreciate the
5. Apply, interview, rejection, repeat.
Following this path of stress over the future, on top of balancing your course load,
Senior year is undoubtedly one of the highlights of any undergraduate career because of the perks that come with it. You have a core group of friends, you can pretty much partake in any activity across the city and yet it comes with certain responsibilities that make the entire experience bittersweet. The only thing we can do is embrace it, enjoy it while its lasts and persevere through its valleys and peaks. We are on the home stretch with one-eighth of our bachelor’s degree to complete, keep your heads up, fellow seniors!
1. You're tired of school food and have resorted to surviving off junk food and cereal.
2. Your financial aid/money is running out...and chances are it all went to textbooks and takeout.
3. You've calculated exact percentages needed on final exams, projects, and papers in order to pass the class.
4. You will make any excuse to not attend class.
5. When you do attend class, your notes consist of absent-minded doodles.
6. You're blaming everyone from your friends to Obama for your level of stress.
7. But you won't stop procrastinating, which stresses you out even more...the endless cycle!
8. You roll out of bed five minutes before class.
9. You stop caring about your physical appearance...eye bags and oversized sweaters are in!
10. You've given up on cleaning and making your bed.
11. You reward yourself with three hours of Netflix after studying for 15 minutes.
12. Naps during the day substitute for real sleep.
13. You try cramming an entire semester's worth of information the night before the final.
14. The smallest things start getting on your nerves.
15. You're actually homesick and miss your family.
16. You give your friends pep talks and advice you should probably take yourself.
17. You're considering dropping a class because there's no way you'll catch up at this point.
18. "Cancelled class," "extra credit," and "non-cumulative" are your favorite phrases.
20. You've convinced yourself that you've done your best and failing a class won't be too bad after all.
9 Reasons We Gravitate Towards The One Who’s Not Right For Us
Sometimes it's not right, and we just don't care.
We’ve all dated someone who just wasn’t quite right...but, why?
Here are nine reasons you're probably still too in denial to admit.
1.We’re too lazy to search for Romeo, but we don’t want to watch Netflix alone.
Finding the right person takes effort, like, putting on real clothes and going outside kind of effort. Why do all of that when Brad lives right next door?
2.They were, like, Channing Tatum hot.
Smart? No. Sexy AF? Absolutely. We’re only human, after all.
3.We’re bored, so why not?
It’s not like we’re going to date forever, I mean that’s obvious. So what’s a few weeks?
4.They were supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly nice.
Talking to this guy gave us the same taste we’d get from chewing wet cardboard, butttt he was so, so nice. Like, we were the Queen of England to them kind of nice.
5.We’re afraid that our actual standards are too high, so we end up settling.
Where are the Richard Geres of the world?
6.They were the perfect distraction.
From work, school, family, and basically everything else that is life.
7.We’re terrible at coping, so we just accept what comes along, even if it sucks.
Sometimes being depressed makes us needy, even if the guy is a super douche.
8.Because it’s nice.
Is this the man we will reproduce with? Probably not. But we’re not bothered by cozying up with Mr. Normality for a few more weeks.
9.And, going through an actual breakup is hard AF.
Ultimately, we’re afraid of how hurt we’d be if we actually found the guy that was meet-the-parents perfect and then we had to go through the pain of losing him. It’s simply just too much to deal with at this point.
