According to the National Health Conditions Alliance: "A mental illness is a condition that affects a person's thinking, feeling or mood. Such conditions may affect someone's ability to relate to others and function each day. Each person will have different experiences, even people with the same diagnosis."
I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder when I was 17 years old. After many tests, appointments, counseling sessions, and dedicated parents, this is what we finally came to the conclusion of. This disorder had plagued me my entire life. Panic attacks as far back as 2nd grade, it was something that definitely impacted me, and not necessarily in the best way.
I struggled with fitting in. I always worried what others thought of me, and I could not stand to be alone. Childhood sleepovers and hanging out with friends was not something that happened hardly ever growing up. My mind was constantly going and I could analyze any situation until I was sick, physically sick. From the outside, anyone who did not know me would never have guessed just how much I struggled.
As time went on I formed many coping strategies. Some would help, and others would not but one thing that did not change and that was just how powerful my mind was. Eventually, with a lot of encouragement from my doctors and parents, I was prescribed anxiety medication at 18 years old.
After struggling my entire life, I finally found something that helped me to function daily. Within four days of being on the medicine, I was a new person. I didn't cry myself to sleep every night, I was happier, my panic attacks decreased to almost none, and I gained self-confidence like I had never had before. I had found a new me!
I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder at 21. Yes, you read that right- 21 years old. In fact, just a couple weeks ago. It was not a shock to myself or to anyone close to me. Similarly to being diagnosed with anxiety, it has been a process, but the testing was a more recent one.
I have always struggled in school. From my lack of focus (although I always appeared to be) to my constant boredom, the way I appeared in class did not reflect how I performed on tests, quizzes, and anything that required me to recall information. I would study so hard for everything and still fail the assignment. It was disheartening because wanted my grades to reflect how dedicated I was. When I came to ECU, I hoped and prayed things would get better and they didn't.
Freshman year I was .1 point away from being put on academic probation and that was when my parents and I fully came to the conclusion that something was not right. I cried because I tried so hard and yet it was as if I was not trying at all. Two full psychological testing sessions later things started to align with ADD. I'm not going to lie it was very challenging to grasp, so I did nothing about it. I continued to struggle, and cope the way I had for 20 previous years.
It was when I met my current counselor that I realized medication was something I needed to try. Stubborn in my ways, I put off getting in contact with the doctor for weeks, but with continual encouragement from my counselor and my boyfriend, I decided to go.
So here I am. 21 years old, my senior year of college, and have been diagnosed and medicated for Attention Deficit Disorder. I am realizing finally it is nothing to be ashamed of, and that this is just another chapter of my journey.
In ending this, I would like to say medication is not the fixer of all things. I still have to work hard in school, I still have times during the day when I cannot focus, and I still suffer from anxiety. With that being said, medication certainly helps and I will be forever grateful for all it has done for me.
Seek help when you need it. Don't be afraid. Form a support group that will advocate and love you no matter what your mental health faces you with. After all, we were all created for our own special purpose here on this Earth and everyone is waiting just to see what amazing things we all have to offer!
