Freedom. Independence. Choice.
These are the words that used to come to mind when I thought of college as a high schooler. I couldn't wait to choose my own classes, create a personalized schedule, sleep in, and hang out with friends whenever I wanted to. Being in the International Baccalaureate program, I had no choice but to take seven classes, and at a high school without a block schedule, I was in class from 6:55 A.M. until 3:30 P.M. It was brutal to wake up in the dark and leave as the sun set, since my mom would pick me up after she got off her work. Then I'd come home, and stay up until 2-3 a.m. doing homework I'd procrastinated on. I thought college would get better.
It didn't. If anything, I lost track of mental health even more in college.
The three days before fall break, I stayed up for 72 hours straight. The week back from break, I consistently slept at 5 a.m. I have slept through my alarms so often in the past that I legitimately get anxious about possibly missing class now. The funny thing is, whenever I seem to mention any of these instances to my peers, they are either a) surprised, but unfazed ("What?! Oh man, that's pretty bad, but I'll see you around!), b) immediately sympathetic and understanding ("Oh... yeah... you know, sh*t happens man....), or c) trying to one-up me in the mental torture Olympics ("OMG yeah! The other week I had four midterms in a row, didn't sleep for ANY of them, and I've still got 300 pages to read by the end of the week. OMG I don't think I can do it!).
Very rarely will I get the truly concerned response: "Are you doing OK, Hanna? Are you sure you don't need help planning assignments, maybe from the OAR? Take care of yourself!" And this is so telling of our priorities as college students.
We are so fixated on the idea of independence and individuality that we get caught up in the hour by hour activities and lose sight of what is actually most important: mental health. Everyone's got some stance on issues like race and privilege, body image, and social media, but mental health seems so neglected on this campus, and most likely, on other college campuses as well. We thrive on stress, expectations, motivation. The last thing we want to think about is how content we are with ourselves, how at ease we feel day to day, whether or not I'm getting enough "me" time. I came into college wanting to expand my personal blog, complete Coursera classes, and chip out my huge reading list. I have so incredibly fulfilled none of them. My blog: stagnant. Coursera: not a single course completed halfway. Reading list: only getting longer and longer.
We don't take care of ourselves. Rarely do we just sit, relax, and take some time off our day to not think about school and classes. If you ask me, one of the biggest causes of this negligence is due to the lack of emphasis on mental health. It's the least remembered PAF session. It's the most overlooked thing when advisers ask how we're doing. It's the most underrated thing when we make our Google calendars.
Then, lackluster publicity directly leads to disinterest.
I've gone to a couple OAR sessions and taken a couple of my freshmen to them. Both times, we were the only people at the sessions (which were amazingly helpful by the way -- and a shout out to Brian Cuzzolina and Kelly Wilcox for being so informative and helpful). No one speaks about CAPS, and when they do, it's with a stigma in mind. Faculty advisors and deans are only the people we contact when we need help scheduling classes. No one is interested in taking care of their minds. Even the OAR gets a stigma sometimes, that only kids really struggling go for appointments.
But taking care of your mental health can be so rewarding! Being mentally stable and content leads to overall increased happiness, confidence, good self-esteem, and a feeling of balanced harmony. This confidence then bleeds into other aspects of our lives -- relationships, class participation, diligence, and motivation. The first PAF session that my customs team held was on mental health, and the PAFs passed around a survey for everyone to take, evaluating our own mental health.
The self-assessment included six areas of mental health (physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, college and overall balance). Under each area was a list of activities, each of which we assigned a number for the frequency we did the activity. A "3" meant I did the activity often, "2" for occasionally, "1" for rarely, and "0" for never. Filing out the form, I was in shock; I had never even thought of half the things on the lists. I never thought about making time for self-reflection. I had never felt satisfied with where I am. I struggle saying no to new responsibilities. I don't do the activities I'd look forward to doing, like reading or blogging. That's when I realized just how important mental health is and how no. One. Gives. A. Fuck.
We need to pay attention to our own, individual mental health. A lot. We need to overrate mental health and not underestimate its power. You know how a night of eight-hour sleep feels amazing after staying up late for a while? That's how mental wellness and contentedness feels like, but better, because it's a contentedness about life. We need to stop encouraging the mental torture Olympics and stop making mental unhealthiness a matter to brag about. All of those OAR workshops should be filled with students. Faculty advisers and deans can do more than just sign off on classes.
Mental health is something that carries on after college. Just as a sophomore, I already dread having to find a nine-to-five job that I'll have to get up every day for. This freedom, independence and choice that we spent all of high school looking forward to, we lose it again after college. If you don't take care of your mental health now, it'll make that nine-to-five job that much harder to look forward to every day.
So let me ask you -- how content were you today?
