I want to emphasize from the start that this isn’t some kind of “all lives matter” type response to the feminist movement. Women deal with a lot of crazy shit that guys don’t know about, or do know about and choose to ignore. Rather, this article is coming from the privileged perspective of a white male who wants to do my best to contribute something to the feminist movement, with full knowledge that I am part of the system I’m about to bash.

Feminism is a dirty word. People, particularly men, are intimidated by it. They don’t understand it. I can see why, considering that feminist movements have been pushed to the edges of society throughout history. Let’s start with some definitions. First, the crazy, man-hating, version of feminism that everyone thinks normal feminism is has it’s own name: misandry. Feminism is not misandry. Feminism is not a movement to hate men. It is a movement for the social, political, and economic equality of the genders. This brings us to my main point: the feminist movement and the push against patriarchal society is good for men too.

First off, feminism promotes the idea of self-love. This just means taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally. “Who would be opposed to that?” you might ask. If you’re a man, society tells you to be tough. You’re meant to keep everything in control and remain stoic, even if everything is going to shit. I’m not saying sob over every little thing, but allow yourself to cry if you need to. Laugh at what you find funny. Fall in love hard and have the emotional capacity to communicate with your partner and foster the relationship. Let yourself feel the full range of human emotion without suppression. Take care of yourself. Eat well and exercise once in awhile. Watch your mental health. Feminist thought promotes all of these things, which lead to a happier and more fulfilling existence.

Feminism also works to promote healthy sexuality. The movement works to provide a variety of contraceptive options, such as birth control pills and condoms, to the general public. This allows everyone to have a healthy sex life, free of diseases and unwanted children. Furthermore, by pushing for equality regardless of gender, feminism encourages communication between sexual partners. With better communication in the bedroom, everyone can leave satisfied. Finally, the idea of eliminating the idea that men need to be tough or aggressive in their lives also applies to male sexuality. It’s great if you like sex with a variety of people. It’s great if you don’t. If you and your homies want to high five about it, that’s awesome. What’s not awesome is societal pressure to be aggressively forward when approaching potential sexual partners, or to find as many sexual partners as possible in order to prove your manhood.

You’ll notice there’s a lot about proving your manhood or reaching a societal expectation of manliness in this article. This is most important part of the feminist movement for men. There are so many social constructs that men are expected to adhere to. It’s shameful if you don’t like sports. You’ve got to fit within a certain body type that requires an excessive amount of work and discipline that most of us don’t have the time to commit to. If you’re a male victim of physical or sexual abuse by a female partner, society will laugh at you because you got “beat up by a girl” and are supposed to have endless sexual cravings that your partner was catering to. You have to find a job in a respectable, masculine field so you can be a breadwinner for your family. All of this is bullshit. It’s nothing compared to the expectations placed on women, but it’s still bullshit. Feminism is here to liberate both men and women from societal constraints.

By supporting feminist thought over traditional patriarchal ideology and incorporating it into your life, you get rid of this whole world of worry. If your friends suddenly won’t hang out with you because you chose to read a book last Sunday rather than watch football, you have awful friends anyway. Choosing feminism frees you to do what you damn please without having to worry about what others think. Embrace that freedom and learn to do your part to make a better, more equal world for everyone to enjoy.