It's 2018 so that must mean the dating game has changed, right? Today, dating works in two cases: swiping right on an app, or having the balls to talk to him at the bar. He was flirting with her, and before she left for the night, she didn't leave without getting his number. She woke up the next day to a text from him saying that he had a good time last night.
On the inside, she was excited. Her mind wandered and she thought, "Maybe this one will work out." So they started talking for maybe two weeks, and he finally asked her to hang out again. The moment she had been waiting for. Of course, she said yes because for once she thought he wasn't like the others. She went out with him to a bar in Chicago and everything was going fine.
She thought, "This is it."
This is a story of a girl who has been fucked one over too many times. And for all of the men that are reading this, maybe you can help us understand better as to what goes on in your head. We would love to know.
For the longest time, I've been trying to figure out men and why they do what they do. I've over thought every way possible and have studied body languages just to try and get inside of their heads. But, I can't ever figure them out. Whenever I ask my guy friends for advice on this, I get told, "I don't know, Jessica. It could be this, but every guy is different."
If they're so different, then why do they all pull the same shit?
The confusion that is men will never die. Maybe we'll never fully understand them. In terms of this situation, the confusion could've been easily avoided.
After she thought, "This is it," he kissed her. He made her feel like everything was going well until it wasn't. He didn't ask her to come back to his place. Maybe that's not what he wanted. But it was.
Because twenty minutes after she left, he was hitting on her best friend's sister asking her to come to his place. His interest in her was lost immediately. He moved on so fast. But, why? Most importantly, what went wrong? What changed within the span of twenty minutes?
It's crazy how fast feelings can change and what mixed signals can do. But, I think men fail to realize that mixed signals, and beating around the bush can be avoided from the beginning. The question that we, among many other women, are dying to know the answer to is this simple, "What is so hard about being upfront with me?"
I understand there are some crazy women out there who will chew your head off if you even say one wrong thing especially if they're rejected. But, wouldn't you rather know that she was crazy from the outset instead of sending mixed emotions in the beginning? Why lead a girl on just to fuck her over?
If you're not interested in a girl, just tell her!
It will make her stop looking dumb and it will probably clear up the crazy clutter full of overthinking in her head. What is so hard about saying, "Hey, I think you're great, but I'm just not into you that way." before you hit on another girl?! That's the thing, it's not. Dating in our twenties has become so juvenile, and it's time to grow up and start paying attention to your feelings instead of playing with ours. What happened to honesty just even as a decent human being?
Having to confront someone is not easy, but your life and ours will be much easier if there is one thing you both to - communicate with honesty. It doesn't matter if you guys hooking up or are engaged. Communication between women and men needs to become more effective and stronger, and I'm tired of seeing not only me but my best friends getting hurt because a "man" can't figure out what they want or how to say what they feel.
Take it from me, as a woman.
Women want that attention. Women do like to be texted and showered with flirtation and affection but only if it's genuine. If there's one thing women absolutely hate, it's having their time wasted. We do not have "Waste my time." written on our foreheads. So don't even. That's when bitch mode comes into play. If your intention is to just fuck her or pass the time, that's where you need to just tell her from the start before feelings become involved.
Trust me, once the feelings come up, that's when everything goes downhill if those feelings are not mutual.
I'm not saying that every guy is an asshole like this one. Has every guy that I've dealt with in my life been like this? Unfortunately, yes. But, I know the good ones are out there. I've seen it. I've seen so many of my good friends fall in love and just shit rainbows because that's how happy that man in their lives make them feel.
I won't sit here and be the bitter cynical single bitch. I'm a firm believer in, "There's someone for everyone."
Maybe the special ones just have to go through a million frogs before we get to Mr. Prince Charming.
