Something tells me you're reading this article because you know a man who cries at the movies or you are one. Well, I have a message for those men: shame on you. Crying isn't for men. How dare you express natural human feelings during a movie that isn't even real.

If you Google "men crying" the first image is President Obama wiping away his tears. Did he go see a movie? I don't know. Probably not. But he's our president, he doesn't have time to cry. No wonder our country is divided and suffering. Thanks Obama.

Men go to the movies, sure. But cry? That's a sign of weakness. How are you supposed to work if all you do is cry at the movies? Next thing you know you'll be calling yourself a Meninist trying to fight for the equality of men. We don't need to be equal; we need to be strong.

Imagine if you went to the theater and you started crying because a fictional character died, or even worse - a dog! - and then your boss happened to see you. You're fired. That's that. No one can tolerate a sobbing wussy of a man to accomplish anything in their life.

The best thing to do when you feel like crying is to suppress those emotions that come naturally to you and bury them deep inside of you where no one will find them. Build a mental wall around those feelings and don't let anyone in. Become boring, robotic, and soulless. Those are the sexiest types of men. Those men are marriage material.

The truth is, men should just be replaced by robots. Robots don't cry. Robots get their work done. Robots are tough. Robots don't let emotions ruin their lives. Men are becoming weaker and more sensitive. They need to stop embracing their humanity and man up because true men don't show their feelings. That's just ridiculous.