During the June Orientation for school when we signed up for classes, there was already one course on my schedule. It was, "Intro to Women's and Gender Studies." I didn't choose it, but for some reason I left it there and figured I'd give it a try. Boy am I glad I did! It has truly been an eye opening course and I strongly recommend it to everyone (yes, males, you too).
I recently received feedback on a paper that I wrote. My professor called my language "fiery" and suggested I post it somewhere, so voila! Enjoy my paper about the qualities that men and women have in today's society.
Our history has created specific stereotypes for the qualities that men and women should have, but now it's time to break away from these ideas that are fed to us by society and think differently.
I believe that every human should be compassionate, hard working, and have the ability to break away from the stereotypes of men and women in today's society. Men and women should not be expected to have different qualities because that's exactly how this whole mess started in the first place. We need to stop thinking about people as people, not as men and women. We have come too far in this battle for equality to settle now. I mean, yeah, things are better than they were a hundred years ago, but that doesn't mean that they're satisfactory. I don't know about you, but I'm not okay with earning less than a man for doing the exact same job. I'm not okay with men overcompensating with violence or anger because of the fact that other men make them feel like they can't be sensitive. This class has opened my eyes. Even just reading the first chapter of "Full Frontal Feminism"I felt empowered. Society needs to change. We are society. We need to change.
A common misconception about feminism is that feminists are fighting against men for women's rights. As Jessica Valenti inserts in "Full Frontal Feminism", the dictionary definition of feminism is, "Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes (14)."Let me say it again for the people in the back, it is the equality of the sexES. Plural. Not just women. Yes, feminists are mainly fighting for women because women are more oppressed at this point in time, but we also realize that men have some struggles, too. Society has created this image of men that they need to be beer drinkin', truck drivin' tough guys that get all the girls. There is such a stigma associated with men who openly express their emotions. Emotions that we, as humans, all feel. For so long men were supposed to be the physically strong ones, the ones who fixed things around the house, the ones who carried the heavy things because women were too fragile. They couldn't show their emotions because that was what women do. We might not all express ourselves the same ways, but who's to say that a man can't cry or a woman can't go hit the gym and beat the heck out of a punching bag?
On the flip side, women need to get out of the stereotype that they all need to be polite, insecure and live to please men. Ladies, it is 2016. I'm not saying if you want to be polite and dainty that you can't. It's your life, you do you. I'm just saying nobody should have to be. One line that really stuck out to me in "Full Frontal Feminism" was when Valenti said, "We're all brought up to think there's something wrong with us," (7). And it's true. Think about it. We weren't born thinking that our noses are too big or we are too tall or that our boobs aren't big enough. No. Society drills it into us that we should think, "Wow my nose is too big." Or, "Wow I do need bigger boobs." And why do we have these thoughts? Because we are stuck in the idea that we are here to please men. Men want skinny girls with big butts and big boobs but a tiny waist and that isn't too tall. So we are brought up that if we don't have those things, that men won't want us, we'll never get a boyfriend, and our lives will be o-v-e-r. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? We are basing our bodies that we live with on what men tell us they want. And, again, women have become more independent over the years. However, we still see so many young girls and women doing drastic things to their bodies to try and achieve the body that men "like" better. This is why it is so important that we break away from those stereotypes. Women are literally destroying their bodies to win the attraction of men. They are ruining their own lives! Wake up, people! It doesn't have to be this way. We need to stick together to support each other and fight against these silly expectations society gives us.
As I mentioned in my thesis, we need to create new stereotypes. For everyone. We are all humans. Instead of being quiet, we should be kind. Instead of being dainty, we should be independent. Instead of being a "tough guy", we should be hard workers. If we start giving men and women different qualities, we start the divide of the sexes and that's just going backwards. We need to stop talking about the old stereotypes as being current expectations. When people ask us what men or women are expected to be, we should say, "Human." Not, "Polite" or "Strong". Just human. This way, we are able to slowly but surely squash the old times and start new ones. This way, I'm sure in a few years we'll be saying, "What were qualities that men and women used to have?"
Sources
Valenti, Jessica. Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Women's Guide to Why Feminism Matters. Emeryville, CA: Seal, 2007. Print.
