Recently, singer Timothy Heller released a statement on Twitter describing an abusive relationship and rape by a person who she once referred to as a "best friend." Initially, she did not reveal the name of the accused. Now, Melanie Martinez is gaining infamy from this allegation and previous fans are denouncing the musician and her brand. They are even going as far as burning her merchandise. See both of the artists' statements below:
Comparing both statements gives a picture of what transposed and both are not to be taken likely. Heller's recollection of the night is horrific and her telling of the relationship shows a distinctive power imbalance.
Some may argue that she didn't "put up a fight" or should have removed herself from the situation. This is invalid due to the nature of their relationship and the situation. Not only that, but it is common for victims of abuse to freeze in situations such as these.
In Martinez' response, there is a trace of victim blaming as well as a twisted notion of consent. While Martinez does not deny what happened, she rejects Heller's mention of repeatedly saying "no":
"She never said no to what we chose to do together."
It's incredibly brave of Heller to be public with this accusation given the weight that it carries. The #MeToo movement gave her the courage to bring her statements forth.
"Her fans see her as this angel who understands them," Heller told Newsweek. "So I assumed no one was going to take me seriously if I explained what she did. I've been reading all the #metoo stories, and though I'm obviously in support of the people coming forward, I wasn't sure if my story of being assaulted fit."
Women are seldom accused of crimes such as these, so many underestimate the damage done. Heller raises extremely valid points which tend do be neglected.
"Girls can rape girls. Best friends can rape best friends. Friendship does not equal consent. Silence doesn’t equal consent."
Consent is not something one can assume, nor is it something another can earn through friendship or status. Being one's friend or assisting them in their career does not mean they are entitled to the other person's body.
We're all in touch with the news. Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacy and even President Donald Trump, to name a few, have made headlines for their corrupt crimes. What should be understood is that this case is no different. As Heller suggests, imagine if Martinez were a man in the situation.
With these cases being brought to the light, especially since this was unforeseen from Martinez, it's haunting to know there are more cases like this which we have not yet been exposed. No matter how long ago each occurred, each case is equally valid.
It's vital that we continue these conversations and emphasize what consent really is. It is how we shall keep ourselves safe and each other.
