Seeing old friends always makes me nervous. I think to myself, "What's going to come up? Will it be awkward? What should I wear?" It's a whole dilemma, but it's actually not as terrifying nor terrible as it may appear. I just did it a few days ago, and it went much better than expected. So, if you're in my former position of anxiety, here are a few things to do and avoid.
Do's
1. Wear something not too flashy or too lazy.
Choosing what to wear is a pain in the butt, but you can't over do it when meeting up with old friends. If you show a too dramatic outfit, then they'll feel insecure themselves or they'll see right through your "I'm perfect" act. Be comfortable as well as casual, according to the occasion. If you're going out to a diner, jeans and a shirt will be just fine.
2. Hug them!
These are your old friends, so show them that you still care. Time may have separated you, but that doesn't mean you have to act stand-off-ish. Be comfortable with them.
3. Catch up and ask about their lives.
Be a friend and ask about what they're doing. You can always talk about yourself when the correct time comes, like when they ask about you or when the topic changes to something more "in your zone." Make them feel good. Make them want to miss you and come back for more.
4. Bring up funny times from the past.
Reminiscing is a wonderful thing, and doing it with old friends makes for a fun time. Was there a crazy teacher you had before? Bring it up! It'll help push the conversation along while allowing you and your friends to remember how much fun you had in the past.
5. Relax.
This is supposed to be fun, so have fun! You can always prepare yourself and your composure if a sore topic gets brought up, but don't stress about it too much. They don't want any drama just as much as you don't.
Don't's
1. Don't go into it miserable.
Having a negative mindset might prepare you for the worst, but it can also affect your interactions, tone of voice, and gestures. Being a pessimist will rub your friends the wrong way and give them the wrong impression.
2. Don't bring up bad topics or past enemies.
Leave the past where it's supposed to be: in the past. It's history. It's done. Fun stories are fair game to talk about, but your ex or that one girl who singled you out of your friend group should not be talked about. They are the "unmentionables."
3. Don't gloat too much.
Keeping friends updated on your endeavors is great, but limit what you say. Continuously speaking about how awesome you're doing will make you out to be an arrogant braggart.
4. If you're at a restaurant, don't order messy food.
The ribs might look amazing, but if you want to save your appearance and the awkwardness of sauce being smeared all over your face, then say "no" to them. Basically what I'm saying is to eat what you want, but be mindful of how messy it is.
5. Don't expect the entire friendship to resurrect right away.
It's fine that people grow apart. It happens, but just because you meet up with old friends doesn't mean that you can add them to your best friends list. You grew apart for a reason, whether it was on one side or on both. Keeping in touch is amicable and has them remembering you and the fun, but don't expect a full friendship to be born right away. You might end up disappointed.
