People get married at all ages after any amount of dating. Some take five years to get engaged, while others only know each other three months before deciding on forever. With this type of variety, how is one to know when they've found The One?
1. Religion will always matter. Religion plays into how you act, what you believe marriage is, and, eventually, how you will raise your kids. It even determines your daily routine. For example, some religions think a marriage is an unbreakable bond between two people in love, while others may support polygamy. Some religions may only require church on Sundays, while others want you to go every day. With the definition of marriage alone, religion could potentially be a deal-breaker. Talk with your special someone and really dissect your beliefs and morals so there aren't any misunderstandings later on.
2. Politics can get ugly. Although I hesitate even explaining why this is an issue, it can become an issue for that very reason: political correctness. Although a few people may decide to leave politics out of a relationship, it is nearly impossible. Take the election between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump right now. With completely different candidates and opposing views, I'm assuming it could easily create an argument if you disagreed on who should run America. Politics has the power to affect our everyday decisions so it should not be overlooked.
3. What is your relationship status? One person may have only had one minor relationship in Junior High, but the other person has already been engaged once. Although your past relationships may not always have a huge impact on your current relationship, it is worth discussing. If you've been cheated on, you will most likely have a harder time learning to trust. If you got engaged too quickly in a past relationship, you might want to wait a certain amount of time before even discussing the idea of marriage. If you have never been in a serious relationship, it might take you longer to be able to handle hardships and commitment. It may seem like that relationship is over, but the aftermath is still there. It is important to tell your story.
4. You marry the family. Even if you are not close with your family, it is delusional to believe that your family does not play a role in your relationship. "You marry the family" is said to everyone in a serious relationship, and it is true. It's beneficial to spend quality time with the family to see who your significant other resembles or even how he or she's parents' marriage worked out. Be close with the family not only to understand your partner's traits, but also because family will always be around. If you do not get along with the family, the relationship will always have a wall. Holidays will be awkward, having kids will be tough without the family's support, and there will be resentment for not trying harder to like the family. When or if you do have a relationship with his or her family, the relationship will grow tremendously because you will have never-ending support and people who want your marriage to work.
5. Arguing is healthy. Fighting is healthy. I hope it is obvious that I do not mean verbal or physical abuse is healthy. Having disagreements means you are being truthful with one another. It means that you care enough about the person to fix whatever is bothering you in the relationship because you want it to work. If you don't have anything to disagree about, think about what that means, because nobody is perfect. If you do not disagree, you are not telling the truth. It's all about balance and how you handle the bumps. That will determine the success of your relationship.
I would venture to say these five points are the pillars to a successful relationship. Of course, other factors play into a relationship such as chemistry, balancing work and play, etc.; however, a relationship cannot last without these basic pillars.
