There’s something about the word “successful” that elicits a wave of emotions from within me ranging from desire to anxiety, with a little bit of confusion and doubt mixed in. It seems to me that so much of what we do is driven by a need for success, most likely because our heads have been filled with the notion that it’s what we’re meant to strive for. There’s a cycle of “do this,” “do that,” “be motivated,” “stay determined,” et voilà! Success. While it’s a noble goal, I’ve come to realize two things about how it works in our society: one, there’s a spirit-crushing ideology of “be successful or you’re nothing,” and two, more often than not, success is synonymous with wealth.
As a college senior who has no immediate post-grad plans, success appears to be an unobtainable goal, as if it were a sunken treasure at the bottom of the ocean but I never learned how to swim. That idea is devastating, and as I talk to my peers about their post-grad plans, I’m finding that this isn’t an uncommon sentiment. Our aspirations have become simply to live in our own apartments and work some job that pays the bills, but that’s not success. Success is having the perfect career in our respective fields that pays $50,000 as an entrance salary, while having any old job is, at best, work experience that pays off our debts.
With graduation quickly approaching, I tell myself again and again that the way society defines success should not be the way I measure my accomplishments. Although breaking away from ideals I’ve been taught since high school is a daunting task, I’d much rather be able to live on my own terms than work within the system that defines me by my bank statement. As I look back on everything I’ve done and experienced to be where I am today, I’m starting to make peace with success. I realized that it should be measured by the goals I’ve accomplished, even if they’re goals I didn’t intentionally set out to accomplish. Because I’ve redefined for myself what it means to be successful or how it should be measured, I’ve established some tenets of success:
Don’t be ashamed or feel like a failure if you don’t have a job in the field you want to be in or don’t have a job at all once you’ve finished school. You’ve no doubt learned something, discovered something about yourself, or experienced something that has been transformative while you’ve been in school. I went to college to get an education, not to land some fancy job. I’ve had everything I’ve ever believed turned on its head during the past four years, and I’ve come out the other side as a better and more thoughtful person. That’s success.
You are not defined by what society deems successful; the measure of success is dependent upon you and your terms. It shouldn’t be about recognition and wealth, it should be about the accomplishment you’ve made and how you feel about them. So for instance, if you write a paper on a topic you're really passionate about, don’t define your success by how well it's received, pat yourself on the back for putting your heart into it and learn from the experience. There’s something similar to be said about whatever it is you’ve accomplished.
In the end, if what you’re doing in your life makes you happy, then that’s about as successful as you can be.
