Animal totems are spiritually inherent in everyone. Many people have several, different totems and I'm no exception. Some animal guides are with us for a moment and some are always with us.

Today, I'm speaking about a primary totem that I have which is the mystical mermaid. This doesn't mean I have scales, live in the ocean or am half human, half sea creature (although, I do love salt water). This is simply an energy I carry with me wherever I go and influences my life.

Let me give an example.I was at an event where a young woman was dressed as Ariel from "The Little Mermaid."

She was getting tons of attention for her faux, red coif and costumed-fish tail. I noticed that she enjoyed the admiration plus, was unfamiliar with it.

I also thought that maybe, she might better understand those of us who have mermaids as animal totems.

I don't need a tail, costume or a big wig. I wear this guise every day and while it is outwardly invisible, it manifests itself within me celestially.

I never really knew this about myself until a few years ago, but learned that it could be traced to my childhood. Back then, my favorite places were and still are

-swimming pools
-the ocean
-rivers, lakes or other bodies of water
-bathtubs

This is one key element of this totem: a love and seeking of water. I said this to a friend in the past year,"I don't have a bathtub. I haven't had one in a long time and it makes me soooo sad.

I never realized until I had to live without this, how much I relied on water for comfort, refuge and healing.

"Ahhh, water!"

I've always loved pools and swimming. Each instance was a practice in exploration, movement and investigation; never growing dull or boring.

I did handstands, flips and dives. I dashed down slides and still do.

These movements were deep-seated, unlocking a power inside that was confusing. After these endeavors, I'd feel recharged and energized by some unknown force.

At first, I was terrified of the "deep end “of watery spots. Then, I was given lessons by a specialist who forced me off a diving board, in front of a crowd, as part of our graduation from this aversion. His classes hadn't worked and too unnerved to move, he pushed me, in front of my mother.

I remembered thinking on our drive back, "How

I could always handle shallow water, where I could see the bottom, without incident. But, when the water got dark and far-reaching, my heart raced. To me, this objection signified something from my past, which I'm sure included a trauma and bottomless, shadowy water.

Which brings to mind that I believe I'm spiritually connected to other existences, although, I don't know every detail from them. I conclude that significant bits have carried over into other lives and transfer into worries, instincts, likes and intuition.

Some things, you just know

I'm not ashamed or worried, as I believe it is part of my existential makeup and that everyone has these capabilities — if they are inclined to use them. But, where some of us choose to connect to these spirits, many do not.

I think that a parson with a mermaid totem is exceptionable rare. Most information out there confirms this thought.

Women with this animal totem often have very independent methods and habits, resist trends and stave off usual motions. We feel compelled to serve an unknown purpose that even I don't always understand.

I know of only one other human being who has a mermaid totem and hold a certain respect for this counterpart and others who I've yet to meet.

At the start of this story, I knew that the Ariel I saw, was not a mermaid-animal totem. A real, mermaid-animal totem would have refused to wear such a costume openly. As compared to a mermaid's true nature, it's an insult to try to modernize and cheapen this instinct with outward gaudiness.

It is a sacred detail that most people are unworthy of.

Mermaids are in tune with emotions, sometimes, to an intense degree.

I love seafood, which, you know, seems kind of silly. But, I relate that to the obvious.

I care profoundly about marine life. My heart breaks over violence done to sea life. I have an interest in conserving oceans.

If you've ever had women despise you because their boyfriends looked at you with interest or forbid their partners from speaking to you, this is par for the course for a mermaid totem.

It is completely unintentional from our vantage point, as we cannot help the attraction we get.

Some must think that we are this way in order to steal a man or to make them look bad, but really, that's not it. We are authentic and don't cave to petty pressures to turn off the divine spirit inside unless we must.

Jealousy often projects its way directly at us.

It is common for women, especially, to spread rumors and gossip about mermaid-animal totems. I've lost friends and had former, family members behave this way.

The mermaid doesn't wish to be attacked, but human beings can react with strong defenses when they lack what another has and especially, if they don't comprehend it.

It's common for mermaid totems to be targets of abuse, bullying and harassment because of our alluring, yet placid demeanors.

This is one instance: A man once engaged to a relative of mine was someone I could have seen myself happy with. This is important to mention because it is rare for me to experience this. But, because he'd been with a familiar person, so that notion became completely out of the question.

Their relationship failed and even so, this relative was so venomous and vitriolic anytime I and this man ever came into contact. I was punished for feeling a connection that I never acted on. I consciously chose to turn off my heart in order to spare her feelings and in the end, it was this person who spared nothing in taking out her anger on me.

The next man she met and married, she basically forbade him from speaking to me. This was, in part, due to my spirit totem(s). I know that she spread rumors about me as well.

One would think that she would have been appreciative of my behavior and because of the restraint I showed, she would have tried to give her blessing to any, other potential match to a person that she was uninvolved with. Sadly, I know that even years later, she sabotaged my chances for finding real happiness. And I know this because of my connection to the divine and spirits.

An experience like this is not just unequal, as it is cruel, it is devastating for those of us who put other's contentment and peace before our own. It is also, a horrible betrayal to a spirit that is gentle, humane and kind. No word describes it better than undeserved.

Most mermaid women have, at least, one story like this one. And we usually find out, completely on our own, after we've had our hearts smashed, been lied about and discarded. Believe it or not, the closer the relationship we have to the one(s) offending, the harder it is for us to apprehend as it seems so unconscionable.

For example, if after spending quality time with a person resulted in a strong connection and yet, they took the word of another that they didn't have that type of connection with, over their palpable feelings for us, we usually have nothing left but shock and dismay. We assume people can feel what we do and don't understand how anyone could forfeit that seldom seen gift.

We also accept that we are probably better off because anyone that blind or unmoved by such a powerful force or one who is easily dissuaded by someone with an obvious ax to grind, doesn't deserve what we have to offer anyway. We truly need people who can resist all forms of evil and slander, not get in line behind it.

Sometimes, a situation can prove so devastating, that we have thoughts of abandoning our genuine nature. We may chop off our hair or try to conceal our figures, especially when we get sick of unwanted attention.

People will try to persuade us to cut our lovely locks, for themselves. Fathers will perpetually keep our hair short and hide our femininity. We spend most of our time either being pursued or avoiding traps. Therefore, we have to be extra wary of others.

We need protectors and defenders more than any other since we are so uncommon.

We love life and strive for harmony.

We seek purity and honesty.

We long to be appreciated and honored, but never vilified.

We've been chased, admired aplenty and usually stalked.

In many cases, I've adjusted my behavior or tried to mask this aspect to avoid problems or conflict. It's not ideal, but if we feel threatened, we do what we can to disguise or protect ourselves.

Really, this is just the tip of the iceberg and I'm proud of who this makes me.

What is most important to know about mermaid totems is who we are inside and how mermaid energy transforms our minds, souls, hearts AND bodies. In fact, it's pretty miraculous for mermaid women to carry on in the current conditions of the world without fear.

I find it as a badge of honor that has been carried over many lifetimes directly and because of that, it is important to accept it and to follow. The last thing in the world I would ever do is squander this precious opportunity, even if it is shrouded with a mysterious spirit that many resent, ridicule or even, try to destroy.