I love being in the company of others. I feed off of the energy of everyone around me and lose track of time between gulps of laughter…but I also love being by myself. As a self-proclaimed ambivert, I have always balanced my life between time with others and time alone. Recently, I've been doing much more of the latter, which has, to my surprise, shown me much about the value of the former.
As of late, I've been clocking in hours in the office and in the classroom, working and learning. While I am surrounded by others in both environments, the experiences are mostly self-centric. I do have obligations at work and in class, but I also have complete autonomy as to how I ultimately choose to fulfill such obligations.
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I'm taking an incredibly interesting sociology class, which deals with the interpersonal relationships between people of all races, ethnicities, genders, ages, as well as other aspects. While in this lecture-based class, the teacher does most of the talking, this allows for a greater expansion of my own personal thought. During an internship, I have the opportunity to watch a start-up establish itself, and aide in the process. Though this is a team effort, it requires each employee to pull his/her own weight, individually, for the mutual benefit of his/her coworkers. I spend most of my day working by myself, but with the intent of helping a team I take ownership in. This requires me to fulfill a number of independent tasks.
And the time I get to spend with myself in completing such tasks is truly wonderful. Besides nestling in my (accidental) narcissism, I have also had the time to ruminate on many of my relationships, and how these relationships affect my relationship with myself. The most important thing I’ve learned is the value others have had on my personal happiness. I’m one who has always been for finding confidence and happiness from within, but amidst the teen angst and hormones, it’s sometimes hard to remember to be happy. Having a support system like a tight-knit group of friends makes you remember the truly good things in life.
It's the inseparable bonds, the implicit feeling of love and care that a true friendship brings that allows you to remember what you value the most. I can sit by myself for hours, satisfied in my state because I feel an inexplicable contentedness for how my life is. Because every single person wants to be at peace with his/her life, and a majority of everyone just wants to be happy.
I'm truly blessed to have the people in my life, that make me remember why I am happy and why I love the life I live. It is in this happiness, this upholding and maintenance of basic values I hold dear to my heart, that I can truly bask in being by myself -- writing, reading, listening to music... Alone, but nonetheless happy. That's what matters.
