Before we get started, let me make something clear: I am not against relationships or men. I'm in an extremely happy and healthy relationship. I just think that it's crucial to understand that it's okay to be happy on your own, too.
It's important to feel wanted by other people in our lives--that's just human nature. We all desire acceptance, because that's how we make connections. But staying in a relationship solely for the reason that we don't feel like our lives are complete without a man is a different story. Wanting a man is fine. Needing a man is the problem.
We have to learn how to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. The vast majority of us are so terrified to accept our own flaws that we fall in love for the wrong reasons. We fall in love to fill a void, to combat loneliness, or to ease away that inner pain. We are often our own worst critics and that's why it seems easier to throw ourselves into being compassionate to others rather than compassionate to ourselves. Focusing only on everyone else is a recipe for disaster. We will only exhaust ourselves completely. We will start to believe that what we're doing isn't good enough and that we need to do more. There will come a day where we physically can't do any more, even if we wanted to, and we don't want to get to that place.
If what we think about ourselves isn't something that we would say to a friend, we need to change our language. Think of your best friend. Would you tell him/her, "You are worthless," "Your nose is too big," or any other number of insults? If the answer is no, which it should be, we shouldn't be thinking those negative thoughts about ourselves either. Love only develops after making yourself a top priority--be selfish and focus on you for once. Find the things that make you happy and throw yourself into that (you know, as long as it's legal). Figure out what makes you who you are, because you are enough.
You don't need a man. Depending on someone else for your own happiness is setting yourself up for disappointment. A man can only add to your happiness, he can't be the entire basis. You don't need him to want you in order to feel important--you already are. Love your insecurities. They're what differentiates you from the crowd and what the right man (not just any man) will love about you.
Just remember that you are still not his princess. You are your own queen.
