589 miles.
I bet you didn't think I cared enough to know just how far away from me you ran. Of course, you weren't running from me, not really anyway. Away from this town that made you feel trapped. The same town you've been running from for years, but kept coming back like a ghost to haunt. With every mile you put between us, I know your every breath got easier while I could feel my lungs constricting at the thought of losing you. Everything felt brand new for you, and I was the one left with ghosts.
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I still think about that summer. I remember the first warm nights and how every day I spent with you got longer. It's amazing how different 24 hours felt from the passenger seat of your car or watching the sun rise together through the window. I wonder if you still look as good as the day I met you again? A crowded room spinning, you caught me by the arm first, then the heart. I couldn't have know that moment would mean anything more than just a passing glance. You collided into my life as clumsily as you left it. There was no beginning, middle, or end, just breathless moments and interesting stories I'd pass off as nothing to boys who came after. After all, there was nothing binding us together, no label or formal declaration. You weren't mine, but boy were you something.
Sometimes I think I only saw you from the corner of my eye. I'd catch a glimpse of that smile in the rear view mirror or see you wink at me in the reflection of the bar. I was afraid, I think, that the minute my eyes caught yours, all bets were off. I knew I'd give away my hand, I've never had much of a poker face.
I wasn't supposed to fall for you. I wasn't supposed to care. And yet, I found myself wanting to bring light to anything that darkened the features on your face. I wanted to prove to you that I was everything you didn't know you were looking for, that I'd be the one left standing when everyone else slammed the door.
We were a classic case of bad timing. We were two people destined to hurt each other before they ever even got the chance. We were everything toxic and magic, beautiful but tragic. We were bare souls and broken hearts and everything we knew we were never going to be.
And I hope you know, that I'll always wish we could have. I always knew we would have, maybe if you stayed.
