Jon Bellion, a famous musician, released a song this past week called "Maybe IDK."After listening to this way too many times, of course, I have really grasped the meaning. The song starts by listing questions, some being "I wonder why I miss everyone, yet I still don't call?" "I wonder why I feel hopelessness when I watch the news?" He goes on to say things like "Well if I knew tomorrow I wouldn't need faith." "I guess if I never fell, I wouldn't need grace." Finally, he tops each verse off with the chorus. "Maybe I don't know, but maybe that's okay."
There are a couple things that stand out to me in this song. One big thing is the overlying theme. This issue of always feeling to know the answer is one that comes along with my generation. We are the first generation to not know the world without the internet. This ability to have access to everything you could ever want to know is draining. Not only is it draining, it creates the feeling of constantly needing to know. I am no better than anyone else, my parents constantly tell me I need to be better at being wrong. I like to be right. I enjoy having the feeling of intelligence and knowing something someone else didn't. So maybe sometimes I won't know, and maybe that's ok.
Another important thing I hear in this song is the line "Well if I knew tomorrow I wouldn't need faith." The expectation in my town is that you go to a good college and get a good job and live a good suburban life. The kids at my high school constantly feel pressure to have everything figured out. I mean how can you choose which college to go to if you don't know your major? Because you need to pick a school that has the best program for your major right? These are 17 and 18 year-olds you are asking to have their entire future mapped out. Trust me, I am one of those kids. At 1:30 a.m. first semester of my sophomore year I remember my dad calling up the stairs "Riley, you forgot to turn the office lights off." I replied, "No dad, I'm doing AP Euro, and I still have some AP Psych."
The response from my father was not what I expected. Instead of "Ok, finish your homework." I got "Riley, this is insane. Go to bed." It started a whole conversation about how I needed to stay up. How if I did bad on my AP Psych test, I could get a B in the class, and how could I go to college with a single B! Looking back, it is insane. It's all insane. The definition of insane is repeatedly doing something that hurts you. I was averaging five hours of sleep a night. I was "working" 100 hours a week, and I never felt like I finished anything. True, now I can tell you that according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, a person will search out food before love. Or, King Henry the Eighth had six wives, two he divorced, two he murdered, one died, and one survived. But what did I not learn because I was doing homework? I could've been participating in a sport and learning teamwork and keeping my body healthy. I could've started a new club at my school and learned leadership skills. I could have volunteered and learned to be grateful and have humility. But hey, I might get three college credits instead!
My main point in this is you don't have to know. I have two possible career paths I'm thinking about right now. Graphic design/journalism or medical school. When asked the question where do you see yourself in ten years, I don't know. And that's okay! Our generation is growing up too fast. You don't need to have it all figured out. Maybe you know, and all the power to you. But maybe you don't know, and maybe that's okay.
