The fact of the matter is masculinity is one of the most fragile substances known to man (no pun intended). It’s as if some men feel they need to scream, "I am a man!" everywhere they go, just in case someone doesn’t notice. Don’t believe me?
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Masculinity is one of the most ridiculous things we have to deal with in this world. The fact that I had to decide whether or not I needed to clarify that I am in no way attacking men really says it all. Masculinity is a social construct created to limit people and their actions, the same as femininity. Being in any way similar to women does not make you inherently less masculine.
Masculinity attempts to retain the idea that to be a woman means to lesser. It tells men that they are no more than what people believe they should be. It is limiting in that men are not able to do or be something unless it screams "manly." To be a man, one cannot cry, express emotion or do anything that may paint him as the dreaded "gay."
While masculinity is extremely toxic for men, it is even more so for women. The problem with masculinity occurs when a man feels emasculated and reacts violently. By insulting a social construct that, in reality, does not even exist, women are constantly put in danger by fragile men — men who do not understand that masculinity is not all they have. Masculinity creates an unsafe environment in which women must work and live. One man killed a Turkish singer because "because her words hurt my virility, I could not resist killing her."
I went to Catholic high school and wore a plaid skirt. It might surprise you how many men enjoy approaching young girls in uniforms because there are many. Full grown men have tried to stop me as I walked home, told me to smile and abruptly got angry when I attempted to skirt around. As a 14-year-old girl, it was not only creepy but made me feel incredibly uncomfortable in my own body.
The problem is that it’s not just grown men. This is a culture they are teaching to young boys who then grow up to believe that because they are men every female is there for their viewing pleasure. How dare each woman not stop and put on a show for them? I can remember the day I was on the bus coming from school. Some strange boy sitting behind me tapped my shoulder and proceeded to flirt with me and telling me to smile. I politely smiled, put my headphones back in and turned back around. At the next stop, the boy, a total stranger to whom I owed nothing, yanked one of my braids and walked off saying, “Ugly bitch." I was so angry I wanted to launch my body at him and strangle him, but the woman next to me just squeezed my shoulder to hold me in place saying, "Some men are just like that." The sad part is that I often hear stories just like that, and many more from a good deal of, if not all of, my female friends. We live in a world where violence towards women is not only normalized, it is often expected.
The fact of the matter is masculinity is ridiculously fragile and this fragility is causing women to feel unsafe in their every day lives. Masculinity may be just a social construct and a gender norm, but it is one that has a very tight grip on the minds of men. Men are more than their imaginary masculinity. It’s about time they started learning that.
