In today's fight for total gender equality, I feel there is one important issue people tend to ignore. As a feminist, I can be equally (if not perhaps more) guilty of losing focus on this aspect of gender equality. The topic? Male gender roles.
Society places men inside of the 'gender box,' assigning specific attributes to the ideal man. An ideal man must be strong (physically and emotionally), he must be the breadwinner of a family, initiate relationships, and possess a host of other traits such as having technological and mechanical prowess.
Feminism has been beneficial in that it allowed women to step outside of the traditional box society used to imprison women. No more are women solely viewed as the faithful housewife who must always act like a proper lady. Today, the idea of femininity has become more flexible, containing both traditional female and male attributes. However, in the process of redefining femininity, I think people have ignored the challenge of redefining masculinity.
The irony of redefining femininity to encompass both male and female roles is that in the process, it further ingrained this 'gender box' into the idea of men. If a woman possesses a typically masculine trait, she is praised. But if a man possesses a typically feminine trait, he is ostracized.
For instance, if a woman becomes the sole breadwinner in her family, society praises her for her advanced career. But on the other side, if a man fails to act as the sole breadwinner (or chooses to be a stay-at-home dad) society paints a negative image of him; that perhaps he's ungracious towards his family by failing to adequately provide for them.
The same double standard exists in a dating setting. If a woman asks a man out, society praises her for being assertive and pursuing someone she desires. But if a man fails to ask a woman out, society labels him a 'wimp' or (worse) he becomes 'gay.' I persist to ask why the label 'gay' signals weakness, but that's an article of itself.
The main idea is that although society continually widens the female 'gender box,' the male 'gender box' shrinks in comparison. This blatant discrepancy seems highly unjust to me. Why do people associate masculinity with strength and leadership and dominance but not traits like shyness or anxiety or moments of weakness? Why can't genders share traits? Why do genders define people rather than each person define himself or herself? Why can't society break the 'gender box' for men and redefine masculinity?
For true gender equality to come to fruition, men and women need to work together. Within the subject of male gender roles, society needs to accept that strength is not the defining trait of masculinity. In fact, maybe accepting weakness (as well as strength) is true masculinity. Above all, society needs to give men a chance to prove that they are masculine no matter what form they take.
