30. Cleveland Indians

Mascot: Indians/ Slider (Whatever the heck that is)

My Ranking: 30- Change your name & logo to something less offensive, then we'll talk.

29. Atlanta Braves

Mascot: Braves/ Blooper (Another nondescript monster thing)

My Ranking: 29- If you look up the meaning behind this name, I don't know if it's much better than the last one.

28. Oakland Athletics

Mascot: Athletics/ Stomper (Why couldn't they just be the Oakland Elephants? I love elephants)

My Ranking: 28- It feels like they set the bar really low here.

27. Cincinnati Reds

Mascot: Reds/ Gapper (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 27- I'm not going to lie, this name had me a little worried, but they checked out. It's in reference to their socks, and they aren't the only ones.

26. Boston Red Sox

Mascot: Red Sox/ Wally (Kind of looks like Oscar the Grouch)

My Ranking: 26- Them too.

25. Chicago White Sox

Mascot: White Sox/ Southpaw (Someone on the White Sox marketing/media team needs a raise lol)

My Ranking: 25- And them. I like socks as much as the next person but naming a whole team after them seems like a stretch.

24. New York Mets

Mascot: Mets/ Mr. Met (My dude has one big head)

My Ranking: 24- Isn't 'metropolitan' more of like an overarching theme than something concrete? Who comes up with these things?

23. Philadelphia Phillies

Mascot: Phillies/ The Phillie Phanatic

My Ranking: 23- Sort of lazy naming here, but I aspire to have as long of eyelashes as this guy.

22. Washington Nationals

Mascot: Nationals/ Screech (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 22- one word... meh.

21. New York Yankees

Mascot: Yankees/ Dandy (They don't use him anymore though)

My Ranking: 21- You mean the people that make candles?

20. Los Angeles Dodgers

Mascot: Dodgers

My Ranking: 20- The first of our 2 teams actually in the World Series, so I'll give them a little bit more credit.

19. San Diego Padres

Mascot: Padres/ The Swinging Friar (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 19- If you translate it to literally mean "parents", then honestly that's a pretty terrifying opponent.

18. Milwaukee Brewers

Mascot: Brewers/ Bernie Brewer (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 18- I don't really know what a brewer is, but I vibe with this picture.

17. Colorado Rockies

Mascot: Rockies/ Dinger (Barney's got nothing on this purple dinosaur)

My Ranking: 17- A mountain range is pretty formidable- they don't do much though.

16. Minnesota Twins

Mascot: Twins/ T.C. Bear (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 16- What pair of twins are we talking about? The Property Brothers? The Olsens?

15. Kansas City Royals

Mascot: Royals/Sluggerrr (A literal lion king)

My Ranking: 15- They're cool enough to have a Lorde song named after them.

14. Toronto Blue Jays

Mascot: Blue Jays/ Ace (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 14- Finally, some actual mascots that match their namesake.

13. St. Louis Cardinals

Mascot: Cardinals/ Fredbird (A++++ on name)

My Ranking: 13- This picture is some ideal social distancing.

12. Baltimore Orioles

Mascot: Orioles/ The Oriole Bird (Can we give it a better name though? Come on, people)

My Ranking: 12- I might have just realized that an oriole was a bird earlier this year.

11. Miami Marlins

Mascot: Marlins/ Billy the Marlin (what you'd expect)

My Ranking: 11- Let's have more aquatic mascots- they're fun.

10. Tampa Bay Rays

Mascot: Rays/ Raymond (Excuse me, sir. This is not what this animal looks like)

My Ranking: 10- Now, we have the other World Series team. That's all I really have to say.

9. Chicago Cubs

Mascot: Cubs/ Clark the Cub (What a wholesome, friendly face)

My Ranking: 9- Would be higher, but this is just a baby.

8. Arizona Diamondbacks

Mascot: Diamondbacks/ Baxter the Bobcat (Now, may someone explain to me why they don't have a snake mascot)

My Ranking: 8- All jokes aside, that is dope that they have a pool at the stadium.

7. Texas Rangers

Mascot: Rangers/ Rangers Captain (Those kids seem to like him)

My Ranking: 7- When I hear ranger, I think of Walker, Texas Ranger, and not much can beat Chuck Norris.

6. Seattle Mariners

Mascot: Mariners/ Mariner Moose (couldn't find a good picture)

My Ranking: 6- It's just fancy talk for sailor. Still a good choice though.

5. Pittsburgh Pirates

Mascot: Pirates/ Pirate Parrot (Must be DH-ing here)

My Ranking: 5- Arrrrrrrgh we almost done yet?

4. Detroit Tigers

Mascot: Tigers/ Paws (Look at its shoes- WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!)

My Ranking: 4- My brain is maxed out on tiger jokes. If your team has a tiger mascot, whether it be pro, college, or freaking little league, I automatically hate it.

3. San Francisco Giants

Mascot: Giants/ Lou Seal (What a king wearing his mask)

My Ranking: 3- And we're not talking jolly green.

2. Los Angeles Angels

Mascot: Angels

My Ranking: 2- Anyone else watch Angels in the Outfield as a kid?

1. Houston Astros

Mascot: Astros/ Orbit (Alright, the baseball ear/antennae situation we have going on here is adorable)

My Ranking: 1- Well, it didn't end well for the dinosaurs (Watch out, Dinger).