You got the basics down enough to survive in our technology dictated society, but deep down you know that you’d be lying to yourself if you said you actually knew what you were doing. Here are 9 things that are all a bit too familiar to a technologically challenged individual.
1. Computer Science kids are going to be your best buddies.
I mean they're dedicating their education to learning how to do amazing things with technology, so surely they can get rid of the scary error message on the screen taunting you?
2. You are never going to update your software.
Let’s be real here. It doesn’t matter that your computer reminds you every day it has a new version available or that every time you charge your phone you’re alerted that you haven't updated your storage in 4289563 days. You’re simply going to continue using your ancient software. Unless it’s a life or death situation. Even then, who knows? Why? Because you are afraid of the technological unknown. What if it’s worse than what you have now? What if it crashes? What if you can’t go back? What if you lose all of your files? Ahem, maybe there’s a hint of laziness thrown in there as well…but still. Yeah, no thanks, I’ll just carry on with my trusty outdated Snow Leopard and Windows 2.0.
To you, the “Cloud” may as well be the Loch Ness Monster—a mythical creature that you possess a general knowledge about and may even namedrop here and there (“Move it to the Cloud”). But once you take a moment and really think about it, you come to the realization that you don’t know much about it at all. And thus, it’s time for your daily reevaluation of life.
4. You don't know anything about computer "cookies," just that you could really use an Oreo right at that moment.
Why did the founding fathers of modern technology decide to name something so important so delicious??? How do they expect your eyes to just gloss over “Delete Cookies” in a list of foreign sounding options without thinking about eating one??? Or five…
5. Words like "ethernet" or "troubleshoot" or "interface" will always be a different language to you.
It’s not like you deliberately discriminate against these terms or anything. Think of it more of an “it’s not you, it’s me” type of relationship. You simply don’t need that kind of mumbo jumbo complicating your already up-in-flames life. No offense. We’re just better off this way.
6. Your life is basically over when your screen goes blue.
This always seems to happen right when you’re gaining momentum on that essay of yours that’s due at 11:59 PM. And it’s 11:58 PM. At that point, you may as well just drop to your knees and accept defeat because dealing with crashes simply is not in your skill set and you’re kicking yourself for not knowing how to fix it.
7. Same goes for my fellow Mac users out there, that rainbow wheel of death is an omen for the worst that is yet to come.
Common symptoms include sweating palms, racing heart, and refusal to move until it goes away. And funny story, but I kid you not, I had an encounter with one of these monsters as I was writing this very article and nearly had a panic attack. Case in point.
8. You basically only use three websites.
You've mastered the art of Google, Facebook, and Youtube. What more do you need? Okay fine, and the occasional tweet as well. But hey! All is well and it's not like you feel as though you're missing out on anything.
9. You relate to the videos of old people discovering technology.
This is about as relatable as it gets. If anything, watching them is almost like catching a glimpse of yourself in the future! You can only hope to be half as cute as they are.
But no worries, folks! At the end of the day, assignments were submitted, computers were resurrected, screens were unfrozen, and you are still as awesome as you are technologically inept. Keep up the good work, comrade!
