Marry The Man Who Asks Your Dad First | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Marry The Man Who Asks Your Dad First

A response to an article stating you shouldn't.

684
Marry The Man Who Asks Your Dad First
Monica Restrepo

Recently there was an article floating around on Facebook about how you shouldn’t marry a man if he asks permission from your dad first. At first I thought it was one of those articles that had a misleading title. I thought that maybe I would read it and agree with the opinion after seeing what it was. However, I think I disagree whole heartedly.

The author of the article says that the problem is that “asking for a dad’s permission got a massive historical problem behind it”. It references back to when there were arranged marriages and how women were “traded” for financial gain. While I understand completely the history of this tradition, I disagree that it solely ties back to the historical problem. Some traditions are nice and have more to them than the history behind it.

Six years ago my husband, at the time boyfriend, took my dad to lunch when he thought it was the time to ask me. He talked to my dad for a bit, listened to his opinions and even took some of them into major consideration. It was a simple lunch between two men that happened to love the same woman. In my opinion, it took a lot of nerve to sit down with my dad. He is a friendly person, but when it comes to family and his only daughter, he can come off as a little over protective. And standing at 6’3”, he can be a bit intimidating.

My husband knew that I valued my dad’s opinion immensely. My dad was the first man I ever loved. He was my first friend, my first dance, the first ear I confined in, the first person to show me how a man should treat a woman. If anyone would know whether or not I had met the one, other than me, it would be my dad. Parents have this inner feeling, intuition as some call it, that can tell them things when it comes to their children. If my dad had told my husband no, I more than likely wouldn’t have married him. Not because I didn’t love him, but because that would have meant my dad saw something I couldn’t.

The article also points out that by asking permission from the dad, that it insinuates that your dad owns you. I disagree on this point as well. It’s all about respect. For the 18 years that I lived with my dad, I was under his roof and his rules. I could have lived there forever and only chose to move out at 18 to go to college. Never in those 18 years did my dad ever “own” me. He was responsible for my well-being, but again, never did he “own” me. By my husband asking my dad, it wasn’t a transfer of property, but rather my dad trusting my husband to take care of me.

Lastly, the article also says that she is a grown-up and she can make her own decisions without her parents. I fully support people making their own decisions. I even let our youngest make decisions on clothing and sometimes what we are going to eat. But when it comes to their futures and their general well-being, I try to help push them in the best direction for them. My dad did the same for me. He helped push me to graduate high school and go to college. He showed me examples of families that were broken and basically begged me to be sure I was in the right relationship before having kids.

Not everything has to be a sexist problem, just like it doesn’t always have to be a black or white problem. Not everything in life needs to be over analyzed to the point that we’re breaking centuries long traditions. There are so many issues that people all over the globe are fighting every day, and whether or not your boyfriend asks your dad about marriage shouldn’t be one of them. In fact, if your boyfriend does ask your dad before you, he’s a keeper. He knows what opinions count and what opinions don’t.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

750
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4153
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2559
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

201925
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments