Have you ever thought about what it would be life to live in a different era? To be alive when our grandparents and great grandparents were growing up? What about life in the future? Have you thought of how things are or will be when you are getting married and making large life decisions? I have thought about both, and how in today's society there are many pros and cons about how we live, and more importantly, how we view marriage.
Back in the "good ole days," marriage was a more serious commitment and the thought of divorce was nearly nonexistent. There's a lot of sugar coating that goes on in my head when I think about this commitment. That because people decided to stick out their marriages, they must be happy. The reality is, no marriage is ever as good as we think it is. Everyone is bound to have disagreements and difficulties, however sticking with your significant other throughout these ups and downs is a completely different, and challenging task. When I think about these older relationships, I become instantly happy. Not because I think they were easy, but because two people continued to be devoted to their promise, regardless of the many hardships that came their way.
In today's society, the divorce rate is much higher than what it was for our grandparents generation. It is much more accepted and it is much more common to know many people who have been married, and then divorced. From my own experiences and having my parents divorce, I have mixed ideas about whether or not this shift in standards is a positive, or a negative. For my parents marriage, in the majority of the time that I can recall, they were unhappy. I'm sure they had a ton of great times, I mean they got married for a reason, but there was a large downhill shift while I was growing up.
A part of me supports their divorce, because I would never expect someone to live a life they are unhappy with, but on the other hand I believe that the vows you make should be kept. I think that no matter what turmoil you may go through, when you make a promise, the status of your relationship should never come to question.
Having my parents divorce when I was at a later age, I was very logical and accepting to this storm that was about to rock my world. I knew that they were unhappy and all I wanted was for them to live the life they wanted to live, a happy one. Now over a year later, I'm in my first wedding, and found myself re-evaluating my parents' divorce and whether or not I agree or disagree with their decision.
When I think of marriage, I so badly want to think about the relationships my grandparents were in, that when you made a promise, you kept it. In my parent's generation and my own generations, this does not account for the majority of relationships, and sadly, I know that I will never fully trust the promise made by my future husband on our wedding day. I want to believe that we will work through things and continue to learn and grow together, however that is also what I thought my parents would do. It disturbs me to think about, knowing that no matter how much I love and trust my significant other, the thought that they might just give up and leave will always be concrete in my head.
I want the relationship that my grandparents had, the ones that believed divorce was not an option. The ones that fought and made up more times than most, and still kept their promise to one another throughout the years. The reality today is that you can never truly know your partner's status in the relationship or completely trust a promise. I wish so badly that this was not the case, but welcome to 2016.
Think about this for yourself, and for your future. When you decide to make a commitment to someone, stick to your word. We praise couples who are together for large amounts of time, and there is a reason why. Making a promise and sticking to it through thick and thin is very difficult to do. Sometimes you may question a relationship and whether or not it's right for you. However sticking by your partner's side, even when things get tough, is truly something to be proud of, and a goal we should all have.
When you marry someone, live by your word, and promise yourself to never break your vows. Happy or unhappy, lives can be mended and relationships can improve, no matter how long the situation has been less than ideal. Fight for what you promised to fight for, show your children the true meaning of a vow and show others why relationships are worth fighting for.
If we all adopt this mindset, we can get back to living the "good ole way." We can truly trust our partners, we can teach our youth that others can mean what they say and that marriage vows can last a lifetime.
