People today and in the past have married their spouses because they were forced- they got pregnant, they thought they were in love when they really weren't, or whatever it may have been.

My grandmother married her husband on a rebound from her lost love, my other grandfather married my grandma because she got knocked up, and my parents married for a reason I don't know why. They never showed real love for each other. My great grandparents were married for over thirty years. Although it was a long and respectful marriage, it was not a loving one. Here is where the fault lies in marriage today, and it drives me insane to think about.

Marriage should be a covenant between a man and a woman who truly love each other, commit to their vows, and choose their spouse before anything else. Marriage should have respect, but it should not have only respect. The roles of both a man and wife in a marital relationship should be to nurture mental and spiritual growth in themselves as well as in each other.

Marriage should not be a duty or obligation between the two, but rather a symbiotic relationship of love and respect. The bible says it best in the book of Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:22-33 says, "Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of church... Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it...Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband".

Knowing there are spouses who sleep in different rooms and stay with each other because they feel like they "have to" lowkey aggravates me because that is not what a marriage should be. Knowing there are people who have affairs because they're not satisfied in their relationship is just wrong. What's the point in stating your vows? What's the point in creating a shared covenant between the two of you if it's just meant to be broken?

There are trivial times in marriages, yes, but as long as each look out for each other and know what's best for them (in the name of love), husbands and wives can get through even the darkest nights.