A Ring Before Spring.... | The Odyssey Online
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A Ring Before Spring....

The idea of getting engaged and married halfway through college seems to cause an upheaval and I have no idea why.

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A Ring Before Spring....

Who here has had friends engaged and longed to be in their shoes? Before I got engaged, before I started dating my soon to be husband, I longed to be where I am now. My heart ached in a way I can't describe for that companionship, for someone to share my heart with. I saw so many friends getting engaged and married. I longed to be in their shoes. Every single time I saw yet another engagement post or wedding pictures, I was like "come on God, when do I get to get married?".

I've seen other articles saying to do away with the whole 'ring by spring' idea. I don't think that there is anything wrong with finding your spouse in college nor is there anything wrong with getting engaged in college.I know not everyone thinks it's a bad thing. But the idea of getting engaged and married halfway through college seems to cause an upheaval and I have no idea why.

There has been a huge breakdown of what constitutes a healthy relationship in our society and whether you should fix a relationship. Why is this? Just because something breaks, it doesn't mean you should throw it away. This attitude has made people's hearts disposable and is heavily present in dating culture. I've been told that you need to date for a certain number (the number I've been getting lately is 4-5) of years to truly know if you should marry someone. You don't need a specific time table to get to know someone. If you're being intentional about dating for marriage, your relationship moves a bit quicker from the 'evaluation' (whether you can see it working long term) to the 'courting' (getting to know someone better with the intention of discerning whether they are who you want to marry) phase.

I understand that a "quick" relationship isn't for everyone. We've been dating for a year and a half, and we've been engaged for 6 months of that. However, at some point a relationship will either end or will result in marriage. So if you're on year 6 of dating and nothing has changed in terms of commitment, then there is probably a reason for it.

Some might argue "how are you going to support yourself?"; "you're throwing away your twenties"; "you're giving up your freedom to be tied down". Well for starters, my fiance has a master's degree in mechanical engineering with two years of industry experience under his belt. You might say "he's paying for everything". Nope, he's not. We both work, though he makes it a point to work hard so he can provide for me. Secondly, we both want to settle down and have kids. It's a season of life we're looking forward to. I would rather spend my twenties chasing our babies around the house instead of passed out in a bar any day. Lastly, having somebody to come home to each and every day is freedom at its definition. It's freedom to pursue your dreams with your best friend by your side to cheer you on. It's freedom to learn and grow as an individual as you find hobbies to pursue. It's freedom in having a safe haven for your heart, someone to share your biggest dreams and darkest fears with who is there by your side.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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