As the winter fades to springtime, the lion grotesquely morphing into a lamb in an unholy abomination of limbs and blood, there's one question on everyone's mind. If types of pasta were sentient, how would they align themselves within a game of Dungeons and Dragons? Worry not, dear friends, as the answer is finally here!
Lawful Good
Angel hair acts with compassion for others. Pairing well with light, oily sauces and little else, they are an honorable class of pasta and can be trusted to be dutiful. Angel hair may view themselves as noble knights.
Neutral Good
Spaghetti doesn't play by your rules, but will definitely be there for you anyways. They have no need for laws and waste no time crying over spilled milk- or should we say, alfredo sauce.
Chaotic Good
Wagon wheels are weird. They're shaped like an outdated mode of transportation for no apparent reason save whimsy. Yet they enjoy far more longevity than novelty macaroni, perhaps due to their uniquely perplexing shape. I'm sure wagon wheels mean well, but their attempts at catching sauce have mixed results at best. Even so, we wouldn't want them any other way.
Lawful Neutral
Despite its single curve, macaroni is a relatively straightforward pasta. Known for their tight friendship with cheese, they know their place and stick to it.
True Neutral
Penne finds balance in a world of twists and turns, stuffed and straight pasta. Their hollowness leaves room for infinite potential. It doesn't align itself with a single type of sauce, rather retaining versatility while sacrificing some of the flair that makes other types of pasta stand out. Underrated and often forgotten, penne is the quiet hero of pasta.
Chaotic Neutral
Manicotti follows their heart. They need to retain their freedom to truly feel satisfied. Make sure they are given the liberty to live as they desire.
Lawful Evil
Ravioli insists upon being stuffed up, as though it believes itself to be better than other types of pasta. Its cheesy walls are filled with pompous arrogance.
Neutral Evil
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Lasagna forces those who wish to enjoy it to go through the laborious process of layering with ricotta and marinara over and over again. It's basically its own genre of food, which is honestly unacceptably evil.
Chaotic Evil
Tortellini. Is it macaroni? Is it ravioli? No, it's some kind of Frankensteinian horror. Tortellini is the monster beneath our beds, covered in dust bunnies and a light parmesan alfredo. They look like fortune cookies, but spoiler alert: all that lies within your future is confusion and betrayal.
Bonus! Farfalle
As farfalle are shaped like bowties, the symbol of capitalists, they are the evilest and most despicable type of pasta by default.
